Meal My Sunshine

Okay, I’m gonna get the gym deets out of the way first! I was there for about 45ish minutes, I think? I can usually tell by how much of my playlist has cycled through, but I didn’t wear my iPod today! I kind of shook things up today.

First, I got on the elliptical, but the glidey one with the handles that swing, not the stairsteppy one with the ramp. God I hope you know what I mean. Anyway, I did that for 5 minutes. Then:

Stairmaster for about 30 seconds.
Treadmill for 20 mins.
Stairmaster for one minute.
Two weight machines and upped my weight on the leg press.
Stairmaster for one minute.
One more chest/tricep machine

I liked that I did a few different things; and I barely got through those stairmaster sessions. It doesn’t feel like it adds up to 45 minutes, but I think that includes breaks to get water from the cooler because I’m a dummy and forgot my water bottle. UGH. Forgetting things is a theme today, read on.

Breakfast:

*steel cut oatmeal (about 2in by 3inch piece) with 2 tbsp almonds, 1 packet of splenda, sprinkling of nutmeg and cinnamon
*apple
*cup of coffee

Lunch:

*celery and baby carrots dipped in tzatziki sauce
*Nature Valley Honey and Oats granola bar

This is the part where my instinct is to lie and tell you that I had dinner and ate what I had in my bag. But I won't - closet not-eating is just as dangerous and unhealthy as closet-eating. I didn't eat dinner - I went straight from work to the gym while completely forgetting about the food I had in my bag to eat, and came home and had to rush back out and run errands and prepare myself for the goings-on of tomorrow, and that took up my entire evening until now.

I’m not going into work/temp stuff, but I’ve been so frazzled the past couple of days I can’t really think about anything else other than everything that is going on tomorrow – and by the time I thought about food, it was about 10pm and I didn’t want to eat so late because I’ll be going to bed pretty soon here and I was unsure about the digestion factor. Also, I didn’t think about food until 10pm tonight. Even as I sit right now, and take a minute to listen to my stomach, I’m not hearing a damn thing. It’s tough to balance listening to yourself and taking your own cues with a proper eating schedule.

[side note: I AM APPARENTLY NOT A MULTITASKER]

If I’m REALLY going to be honest, there is a part of me that feels okay with it, if we go by the calories in/calories out method. I eat less, I will lose more weight. I eat less, my stomach will shrink and I will be conditioned to be fuller faster. And I don’t mean to say I want to eat so little, it’s in no way a goal of mine, but if it happens because I’m running around (figuratively and literally) then it happens. And just to be clear, I’m happy when I eat full, creative, healthy, fresh, interesting meals consistently and constantly through the day. I accept when a day like today happens. I think there is a difference, yes?

I understand how this looks, and there are a lot of things I want to avoid: replacing one eating disorder (eating too much) with another (eating too little), malnutrition, and being the girl months from now that is even farther down the slippery slope, reading this post and seeing the tipping point.

So, just like I started out making choices to eat healthy, I’m going to start making it a priority to really make sure I’m eating enough. It’s officially On Notice, to borrow a phrase from Mr. S. Colbert.

Now, I don’t want to reward my behavior, but I also want to talk about clothes. So, clothes win out. I bit the bullet and went and bought a few new things to make my life a little easier:

*Two pairs of size 20 jeans from Old Navy! They are The Dreamer style, I like them! They are the slightest bit snug in the waist, but not enough to keep me from wearing them in public. And I’ll be able to wear them for a few months while I hopefully shrink out of them and move into those 18s. Whenever that happens. So new jeans that fit! Yay!

*New walking around shoes, in size 8.5. That was one of the craziest things from SWL1; even my feet got smaller! So my new kicks are super cute.

*New underwear! I have the Hanes Plus size or whatever, in size 10. I also got a package that is supposed to be for sized 16 women, but they kinda fit me. So I’ll have those for the future.

Now I won’t have a saggy ass complex happening – it’s very exciting.

One more clothes thing – I have this cream, a-line skirt from Target that is AH-DORE-AH-BUL and it fits me again! I’m totally wearing it tomorrow. And new jeans on Saturday. Oh, it’s gonna be a good lookin’ weekend.