1-5-13

so, to catch us up to today, here's the goings on.

i went to the gym for a bit and did c25k, week 3 day 2. but i slowed the hell down and was able to do it just fine. it was a little challenging but i made it. i had been running at 5.0, but slowed down to 4.7 and it was much better. still doing the walking intervals at 3.0.

so on to the meals. i actually am not entirely pleased with my eating today, although it's been healthy things. i skipped breakfast, and by the time i was home to eat something, it was lunchtime and i just went with a salad (with chicken added, of course). and my dinner was very carb-heavy. so, meh. i prefer to be more well-rounded than this.

breakfast/lunch: trader joe's southwest salad with 5 oz chicken breast added:

a snack later on in the day, fage greek yogurt cup, with mango guasomethingorother

dinner was a piece of naan with smartbalance, and trader joe's garden vegetable lasagna.

1-4-13

even though it's 1-5-13, i didn't post yesterday. but never fear, eating was fine. i was just tired at the end of the day and chose to watch eleventy billion episodes of once upon a time in a row instead :)

breakfast, you know it, you've seen it many times before. whole grain toast with peanut butter, and some grapes. and coffee with half and half.

i had more grapes later in the day. (AND I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED THE COSTCO GRAPES, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. WHEN WILL IT END?!?!)

lunch was another usual suspect, paneer tikka masala with a piece of naan.

and then i had another cup of coffee with half and half, because it was THAT kind of day.

by the time i got home from work, ran a few errands, and settled in for the night, i was tired and this was all i could manage to prepare for myself. half a cup of cottage cheese and an apple. not very exciting, but it sure did hit the spot, i must say.

1-3-13

my calories were fine, but i'm not totally pleased with what i ate today. i feel like it was all carbs and pretty much no vegetables. i really need to go grocery shopping.

after work i had a trainer session, that went okay. we did legs so i feel like i survived it a little better than other sessions. when it comes to my core and/or my arms, i always struggle so much more. blerg, but i hope it'll continue to get better.

breakfast was a piece of whole grain bread with peanut butter, and a cup of coffee with half and half.

lunch was a smartones ziti with meatballs and cheese

dinner was a lean cuisine parmesan-crusted fish with penne and vegetables (at least there were some in there)

two out of three meals today were frozen meals. what a glamorous, glamorous life i lead.

1-2-13

day two of 2013, and we're back in business. with eating healthfully and also as i mentioned in my last post...i signed up for a half marathon (in may), the day before my 30th birthday.

next week i leave for new york city for a week; my organization's annual conference is there, and we all go - i packed my running shoes (my old pair) to take with me, so i'm hoping i'll be inspired to keep training even during this crazy hectic week (we work 12-15 hour days). but we'll see.

anyway, on to today's food.

breakfast was two eggs and some salsa. this picture is terrible, but the food was tasty.

lunch was a smartones - rigatoni in vodka cream sauce, and i added 4-5 oz chicken breast.

snack was a gala apple!

for dinner i made stir fry, with a little bit of lite olive oil and reduced sodium soy sauce. i took a before and after picture, because, do you see the before picture? it's like, would you like a few other vegetables with your gigantic onion? i like onion so no worries, but...yeesh. a little diversity wouldn't kill you.

i did something

i'll put up the daily food stuff later, but i wanted to tell you all that i did something (crazy) today...and i WILL be doing something. soon-ish. only two people in my real life know i did it.

i signed up for a half-marathon today. 

it's the alexandria running festival - the start/finish is about a 5 minute drive from my apartment.

it's on may 26th.

may 27th is my 30th birthday.

am i the world's most inexperienced runner? YES. have i ever run a race before, ever? NO. but i want to complete it, and this little voice inside of me says i can. so i'm going to try.

my friends and i also signed up for a 5K on february 10, so that'll be a good mini-goal. my only goal with that race is to run the whole time...even if my running pace is the same as someone who is walking :-P

from there, i'll still have my trainer sessions once a week, which will help with crosstraining. and i've done some research on training programs to give me a good sense of per-week mileage, and running groups in the area, once i feel more comfortable with running.

believing in myself and having confidence in myself are just as foreign to me as running 13.1 miles - so i'm hoping i can train for both over the next 4-5 months.

a half marathon the day before my 30th birthday.

holy shit, what have i done?

1-1-13!

well, being hungover isn't a great way to start a new year, but hell, i had fun getting there at least!

to wrap up yesterday, after i left work, i went to the gym to do week 3 day 1 of c25k...i mostly got through it. the last 3 minute stretch of running, i cheated - i ran for a minute (at a slower pace), then walked a minute, then ran the last minute (at the pace i'm trying to keep) - and then after a few minutes of walking, i ran another 45 seconds, just because. the three minutes was a LOT harder than i thought it would be. i have a long way to go before i consider myself a runner. but you have to start somewhere.

so on to new year's eve, i ate and drank plenty! there were cheese and crackers, lasagna, lamb chops (yeah, my friends are fancypants), champagne, red wine, more champagne, bacon-wrapped sausages, a few different phyllo dough appetizers, and olive tapenade with crostini. DELICIOUS. i don't regret a thing...except for maybe those last couple glasses of champagne.

anyhoodle, unsurprisingly, today has been pretty low key. i also gave myself permission to eat whatever i damn well please. i've been doing just that (but not a lot, you'll see) and watching once upon a time on netflix.

1. i had a piece of toast with homemade (not by me, though) raspberry rhubarb jam. i also had a cup of coffee with half and half but i forgot to take a picture.

2. two smartones cheeseburgers. yep.

3. since it basically has enough calories in it to be a meal, i had a green machine naked drink!

4. whenever i'm hungover or sick, the spicy bowl noodles are my JAM.

i also am drinking a powerade but didn't take a picture, you know what that looks like.

the last day of 2012

hi guys. thought i'd get breakfast/lunch/snack in, since i have a busy rest of the day!

breakfast was the usual, 1/2 cup cottage cheese and red seedless grapes.

*i don't have lunch pictured, b/c i was eating with coworkers, but i had a trader joe's reduced guilt macaroni and cheese frozen meal, and a small plate of salad with maybe 1-2 tbsp italian dressing (the office had a pizza party. i brought my own main dish but did have some of the salad they ordered)

...and i am currently wolfing this snack down, to try and get some energy in my before i go to the gym in about 30 minutes. crappy lighting, but i think you can still make out the gala apple all chopped up, with however much peanut butter that is (pb&co's mighty maple, natch)

i'm off to reston (about 40 mins from where i live) for new years at a friend's place - there will be about 8 of us ringing in the new year together. we're having a potluck, playing games, drinking (obvi) and wearing sparkly headbands!

**my prediction is that it'll start out with just the girls wearing them, but at some point, the menfolk will have had enough drinks and there will be a photoshoot with dudes in sparkly headbands. i've known these people for 15 years, i'm pretty sure it's going to happen. and i can't wait.**

12-30 part two

this is a full piece of naan with some smartbalance butter.

real talk, i am stress-eating this because the redskins-cowboys game is killing me. (i am a lifelong redskins fan)

12-30 and new years blues

so this is what i've had to eat so far today. i'm pretty proud of it considering i've been stewing and my stomach churning which turns into compulsive eating has been blaring for the past few hours.

i might have another little something in a couple of hours, but we'll just put this up for now.

breakfast: 1/2 cup cottage cheese with red seedless grapes.

lunch: 4 oz chicken breast sliced with about 4 tbsp tzatziki sauce on whole grain bread, a cup of trader joe's creamy corn and roasted red pepper soup

(i ended up eating that apple a few hours later, as a snack)

dinner (i guess?) - i was hungry for dinner already but it was way too early - so i thought i might break it up into two smaller meals that could be combined into one (but we'll see if i have that second one, i don't really know what i feel like eating)

anyway, this is a couple tbsp of sour cream, salsa, and 4-5 oz of shredded chicken breast, with 1/2 cup mozz cheese (i would have used a different kind if i had any) with a little sprinkling of the following: chipotle pepper, paprika, cumin.

it was REAL good.

-----

so, here's me, today. i've been working on cleaning up my apartment today, doing laundry, getting some cooking done, and the tv has been tuned into football all day. it's my kind of sunday. but i'm a little bit sad because i would really like to be sharing it with someone.

the holidays, especially new years, are hard to spend alone. and feeling lonely isn't good for making healthy choices. if you look at the "feeeeeeeeeeelings" link, you'll see how i was feeling today. i wanted to go over to my parents' house and eat like ALL of their hotdogs and potato chips and diet soda. i've made the decision to not go over there, because i don't want to compulsively eat. even though i do. but i don't. you know what i mean.

i was even to the point of feeling sentimental towards the last person i dated - i still think about him all the time, even though it's been a year since we've spoken at all, and about two years since i physically saw him. but when he's the first man to tell you he loves you, that tends to stick, even if he was a very selfish person that made me feel less than i deserved.  and i know it's likely that i miss the IDEA of him rather than him itself, but it doesn't make it any easier necessarily, because i'm still sitting here missing something.

and here's the thing. i'm funny, affectionate, a good cook and a better baker, i'm kind, i've got a decent face that i actually like, i'm smart, i live by myself and i have a great job (even if it does stress me out). and it drives me bonkers that all of that isn't enough for ME. those qualities are only valuable in the context of a man showing interest in me?

it's a difficult line to walk when you're trying to improve yourself, and just be okay with who you are, but also genuinely wanting to share your life with someone. i miss affection, i miss quiet nights together, i miss feeling wanted and cared for (not like, friends and family cared for, you know what i mean).

i know i'm also very impatient when it comes to things i want, so even though i've been doing really great these past three weeks with eating and taking care of myself, i want to speed things up and just get smaller so i can look better to the opposite sex, already. and it doesn't help that i'll be 30 in six months.

and i'm not deliberately doing anything to put myself out there in the dating world, because i know better. i need to be focusing on myself, but that doesn't make me feel any less lonely sometimes.

sigh.