I'm bad at talking to you. Case and point:
Okay there used to be a video here - but I'm dumb and can't figure out its formatting with the new blog template - here is the link to the YouTube video! My channel! All two videos! http://www.youtube.com/user/100in12
Point the first: CHINZ I HAZ THEM.
Point the second: Maybe I'll get better at talking. Maaaaybe.
So, what AM I talking about, exactly?
I'm sick of myself, the way I am now. Right now I'm still clinging to Bill**, we'll call him (that is not his real name), the guy I was dating last year that left a few weeks ago to work overseas for a year as a contractor. It's a long story that isn't worth telling, really...but here are the major points: We went on our first date in September, in December we really started spending a lot more time together, and on New Years he said I Love You, (I love/d him too) and he left on the 14th of January. (I knew this going in, he had already applied to the job before we met, and found out he got it like 2 weeks after our first date) He's going to be in a middle-eastern country for a year, and he doesn't know what he wants to do afterwards, which includes potentially NOT coming back to the DC area. We're keeping in touch and he tells me he loves me, that he misses me, and that I mean a lot to him....but as far as I know we aren't together. He's a great guy, and he cares about me, but his head is ultimately somewhere else.
I lost myself, I'll admit it. I lived for his validation. I still kind of feel like I do, even though he's far away. But I need to really make the effort to let go. I still love him, and want to continue to do so, but I need to get back to myself. I need hobbies, for goodness' sake!
Fun stuff coming up this summer that I referenced:
*A week in Prague and London for a high school friend's wedding
*A week in California for my godbrother's wedding
*My 10 year high school reunion! EEPS!
So like I said, some things that I want to feel happy for. I deserve to be happy and healthy, but it's going to take some work. We all know this.
Tuesday through Thursdays at my gym (yeah...the one I haven't been to since July of 2010...) at 6:30 they have dance/exercise classes. Tuesdays are hip hop, Wednesdays are Cardio Dance, and Thursdays are Zumba. I'm going. I'M GOING TO THESE.
I also have a Living Social deal for one month of unlimited Bikram yoga at this one studio on the Hill. I haven't used it yet...I'm working up the courage - I'm absolutely scared to go, being so large. I'm afraid I will pass out or vomit in front of a room full of strangers. I have to start it by March, so time's ticking on this one!
I have been better in the past week with eating. Vegetables. Cooking, not eating out. It hasn't been perfect, but it's better. Drinking water, taking vitamins...eating deliberately.
That's what I want. To get healthy and happy. For me.
(**NOTE: This is the last time I will talk about him..I'm banning it from this blog and my general everyday conversation topics...unless he ends up doing something SUPER out-of-character-romantic...which won't happen.)
Showing posts with label size. Show all posts
Showing posts with label size. Show all posts
02 February 2011
26 April 2010
Highweigh to Hell
(While I do love AC/DC, this is the Glee Cast version! I have, of course, been listening to the newest Glee songs nonstop. HOW FUN was the Madonna episode. PS Like a Prayer is my favorite Madge song and I was so happy they sang it. Loved their version.)
Weight this AM:
204.6!
A nice 3 pound loss from last week. Hooray! I’d say I earned it. Lots of water, a leeetle more exercise, healthy food choices, no booze, all that good stuff.
I don’t think I’ll be able to pull off 4.6 pounds before next week’s May weigh-in, which is fine. I know I’ll be close and I know I’ll hit Onderland IN May. So that’ll be good. I just need to keep trying and keep making good decisions and exercising and the numbers and pants sizes will follow.
And now, I write about my emotions, far too early on a Monday morning.
This isn’t an unheard of topic, but, it’s something on my mind now that I’m nearing Onederland: fear of success. Many of you/us talk about the fear of what happens next, after we reach a big goal or inch closer towards it every day. Being large is a safety net – we can say “I would do this but I’m too big” or “The fact that I’m this size is keeping me from doing *insert activity or whatever here*” but…when that’s taken away, we don’t have any more excuses. Will I get less funny the thinner I get? Will dating really be that much easier? Will I have the courage to try new things, when it’s more likely a fear of failure or looking stupid, rather than a fear of being fat that is keeping me from doing them?
Anyway, I’m bringing these things up to sort of…prepare myself? To put it out there so I don’t fall into these traps.
*
During SWL1 (Successful Weight Loss 1.0 – from 2007 to July of 2009 I lost 65 pounds) I got down to 197 in August of 08. I felt so great and I wrote in my journal at the time “I am NEVER going back to above 200!” and what did I do a few weeks later? You guessed it. The scale went up and KEPT going up until July of 09.
Now, there was a LOT that was going on in my life that affected me emotionally and I let it completely crush any motivation I had. I had lost the weight that put me under 200 while I was in London. I was living my dream. Working for an arts organization, in London, not living with my parents, I was just. me. I have never been happier than in those two months. And a ton of weight came off. I was eating well and walking everywhere. Even when the tube was available and we were given our transportation stipend…I walked. Just to do it. God I loved it.
Anyway, so I come back home, rode the London high for about a week, and then stopped eating well and exercising. I was so depressed to be back home. To be a dependent. To be still so closely tied to my parents, knowing full well that I should have been out on my own by then. There were additional issues happening then too that greatly contributed to my lack of emotional health, but this was a big factor. Sigh. And the weight slowly crept up, and then it shot up in Jan-July of 09.
I had the opportunity to look at things positively – to capitalize on my time in London and keep it going, even though I didn’t like the circumstances I was returning to. It’s not like they weren’t the same ones that I was living in two months prior before I left. I’m no psychologist, but maybe I let myself get bogged down in my emotions (I’m cutting myself a little slack because at that point, and definitely from Jan-July 09, I think my depression was pretty, uh, robust) and allowed myself to gain weight – some part of me was afraid of weighing less and less.
*
I haven’t weighed under 200 in maybe 7 or 8 years? I’m a little scared of the responsibility that comes with it, to be honest. The second half of my journey (the next 50 pounds) is harder – it’s harder to lose weight the smaller you get, and I’m afraid of the struggle. I’m afraid of how much harder I’m going to have to work and I’m scared of not being able to do it.
So I’m coming up on Onederland…and I find out this week or next whether or not I got that job. If I get it, it means I can make plans to move out. Now, the interview went well and (I looked snazzy thanks to you all, by the by. I went with the jacket and the coral top. Thank you for all your input! The coral was the one I had in my mind to begin with and I’m glad the majority vote was with me!) there is nothing I could have done better. But if I don’t get it…I have no other prospects on the horizon.
I just don’t want any potentially disappointing news to trigger anything – to then allow myself to be sent into a tailspin that involves reintroducing my hidden food stash under my bed, being anti-social and generally snarl-y.
Bleh. But that’s just something I wanted to get out. What I can do right now is just be mindful this week and make good choices. (and BLOG MORE, geeeeez!)
Weight this AM:
204.6!
A nice 3 pound loss from last week. Hooray! I’d say I earned it. Lots of water, a leeetle more exercise, healthy food choices, no booze, all that good stuff.
I don’t think I’ll be able to pull off 4.6 pounds before next week’s May weigh-in, which is fine. I know I’ll be close and I know I’ll hit Onderland IN May. So that’ll be good. I just need to keep trying and keep making good decisions and exercising and the numbers and pants sizes will follow.
And now, I write about my emotions, far too early on a Monday morning.
This isn’t an unheard of topic, but, it’s something on my mind now that I’m nearing Onederland: fear of success. Many of you/us talk about the fear of what happens next, after we reach a big goal or inch closer towards it every day. Being large is a safety net – we can say “I would do this but I’m too big” or “The fact that I’m this size is keeping me from doing *insert activity or whatever here*” but…when that’s taken away, we don’t have any more excuses. Will I get less funny the thinner I get? Will dating really be that much easier? Will I have the courage to try new things, when it’s more likely a fear of failure or looking stupid, rather than a fear of being fat that is keeping me from doing them?
Anyway, I’m bringing these things up to sort of…prepare myself? To put it out there so I don’t fall into these traps.
*
During SWL1 (Successful Weight Loss 1.0 – from 2007 to July of 2009 I lost 65 pounds) I got down to 197 in August of 08. I felt so great and I wrote in my journal at the time “I am NEVER going back to above 200!” and what did I do a few weeks later? You guessed it. The scale went up and KEPT going up until July of 09.
Now, there was a LOT that was going on in my life that affected me emotionally and I let it completely crush any motivation I had. I had lost the weight that put me under 200 while I was in London. I was living my dream. Working for an arts organization, in London, not living with my parents, I was just. me. I have never been happier than in those two months. And a ton of weight came off. I was eating well and walking everywhere. Even when the tube was available and we were given our transportation stipend…I walked. Just to do it. God I loved it.
Anyway, so I come back home, rode the London high for about a week, and then stopped eating well and exercising. I was so depressed to be back home. To be a dependent. To be still so closely tied to my parents, knowing full well that I should have been out on my own by then. There were additional issues happening then too that greatly contributed to my lack of emotional health, but this was a big factor. Sigh. And the weight slowly crept up, and then it shot up in Jan-July of 09.
I had the opportunity to look at things positively – to capitalize on my time in London and keep it going, even though I didn’t like the circumstances I was returning to. It’s not like they weren’t the same ones that I was living in two months prior before I left. I’m no psychologist, but maybe I let myself get bogged down in my emotions (I’m cutting myself a little slack because at that point, and definitely from Jan-July 09, I think my depression was pretty, uh, robust) and allowed myself to gain weight – some part of me was afraid of weighing less and less.
*
I haven’t weighed under 200 in maybe 7 or 8 years? I’m a little scared of the responsibility that comes with it, to be honest. The second half of my journey (the next 50 pounds) is harder – it’s harder to lose weight the smaller you get, and I’m afraid of the struggle. I’m afraid of how much harder I’m going to have to work and I’m scared of not being able to do it.
So I’m coming up on Onederland…and I find out this week or next whether or not I got that job. If I get it, it means I can make plans to move out. Now, the interview went well and (I looked snazzy thanks to you all, by the by. I went with the jacket and the coral top. Thank you for all your input! The coral was the one I had in my mind to begin with and I’m glad the majority vote was with me!) there is nothing I could have done better. But if I don’t get it…I have no other prospects on the horizon.
I just don’t want any potentially disappointing news to trigger anything – to then allow myself to be sent into a tailspin that involves reintroducing my hidden food stash under my bed, being anti-social and generally snarl-y.
Bleh. But that’s just something I wanted to get out. What I can do right now is just be mindful this week and make good choices. (and BLOG MORE, geeeeez!)
19 April 2010
Walk This Weigh
Gotta make it quick!
Scale results: same as last week!
207.6
I'm...okay with it, and not okay with it. Sometimes I have a couple of weeks of maintenance like this, and I like to think it's the universe's way of giving me a break while I reassess. And by reassess I mean...eat out, have a few beers, and not really exercise. Though the last week as a whole, I ate healthy things, just MORE of them than I probably should have.
(except for last night when I was watching The Hurt Locker. I ate like 3 servings of chocolate cheerios...followed by a roll of fruit mentos...followed by a chocolate peppermint stick luna bar. Writing all that out now is....kind of gross. Anxiety eating? Not out of the question during that movie!)
So I think it's good to give myself a bit of a break but be able to maintain/not gain, but it's not good when I remember that I have, you know, goals and stuff.
I've got two weeks to get to Onederland, if I want the "weigh in the 100s by May" thing to happen...which I do. I could slack off and say "Well, as long as I get there at some point in May" but I don't want to do that. So I'm gonna work hard to eat right and get back in the gym. And if I don't get into Onederland, then at least I can be proud for trying.
I put my money where my mouth is this morning! Got my butt to the gym. Granted, because of gym-hours and time constraints I only got about a 24 minute workout, but I worked hard. I did the elliptical on hill-climb (I'm not ashamed to admit I do the ones designed for a great ass. I want one.) for 14 minutes and then did the treadmill for 10:30. On the treadmill I did a minute or so of walking, then a minute or so of running (at 6mph! that is a lot for me!) and then repeat. At one point I even did 2 minutes at 6mph! And my last rotation I did a minute and a half at 6.2mph.
One other thought: as much as I've tried to like it...I just don't really care for almond butter. Its peanut cousin has exclusive rights to my heart.
Scale results: same as last week!
207.6
I'm...okay with it, and not okay with it. Sometimes I have a couple of weeks of maintenance like this, and I like to think it's the universe's way of giving me a break while I reassess. And by reassess I mean...eat out, have a few beers, and not really exercise. Though the last week as a whole, I ate healthy things, just MORE of them than I probably should have.
(except for last night when I was watching The Hurt Locker. I ate like 3 servings of chocolate cheerios...followed by a roll of fruit mentos...followed by a chocolate peppermint stick luna bar. Writing all that out now is....kind of gross. Anxiety eating? Not out of the question during that movie!)
So I think it's good to give myself a bit of a break but be able to maintain/not gain, but it's not good when I remember that I have, you know, goals and stuff.
I've got two weeks to get to Onederland, if I want the "weigh in the 100s by May" thing to happen...which I do. I could slack off and say "Well, as long as I get there at some point in May" but I don't want to do that. So I'm gonna work hard to eat right and get back in the gym. And if I don't get into Onederland, then at least I can be proud for trying.
I put my money where my mouth is this morning! Got my butt to the gym. Granted, because of gym-hours and time constraints I only got about a 24 minute workout, but I worked hard. I did the elliptical on hill-climb (I'm not ashamed to admit I do the ones designed for a great ass. I want one.) for 14 minutes and then did the treadmill for 10:30. On the treadmill I did a minute or so of walking, then a minute or so of running (at 6mph! that is a lot for me!) and then repeat. At one point I even did 2 minutes at 6mph! And my last rotation I did a minute and a half at 6.2mph.
One other thought: as much as I've tried to like it...I just don't really care for almond butter. Its peanut cousin has exclusive rights to my heart.
12 April 2010
well I just did not see that coming...updates and scattered thoughts! (aren't all my posts like that, though, really? :-)
Sorry, my lovelies, that I didn't have time to post this AM. Decided to sleep instead :-) Did you know I have the sleep tendencies of most infants? It's true. I just. love. sleep. Can't get enough.
So this morning I was:
207.6!
Only .4 of a gain after the week I had? I'll TAKE it! A nice lucky break to start the day, and it only continued....
I walked into work to...utter chaos. Everyone saw me and comes RUSHING over in a frenzy about it being my last day (nobody knew until the email I sent out on Friday, informing them as much) and they essentially petitioned the office manager to keep me on through mid-May!
So I've got another month of work! (and a need to sit down and figure out when and how I can motivate myself to the gym. Need to try the whole AM thing again, it was really great for that one week!)
Though I did get a little bit of exercise in today! I took a nice long walk during my lunch break. It was a fairly brisk walk, maybe medium brisk? DC Geography Time! My office is at 21st and L, and I walked over to 17th and then down to the mall...over to 18th and back up and over to my office. I traced it on MapMyRun and it said it was almost 2.5 miles! It was beautiful and warm and sunny out today, I really enjoyed getting that Vitamin D!
***
Even though we are clearly poor bloggers for not taking a picture, Becca, Megan and I met up for lunch this Saturday! I had so much fun. We went to a thai place in Old Town Alexandria that is right on the water. Beautiful views and tasty food! I got a veggie tofu thing that I dominated. Yum! Becca and I have met once before but it was great to finally meet Megan. She's the gem that coined Kat and I as Bert and Ernie, so she's clearly very important!
***
I might go to Richmond AGAIN this weekend. I went about three weeks ago, and then two weeks before that. Apparently I can't get enough!
***
I am picking up my friend at the airport this Friday. I love picking people up at airports. I actually just love airports, period. I know, it's weird. I think I've mentioned this before. It's like the beginning of Love Actually, when they show all the people reuniting...that's my fave. I have so many vivid memories of reuniting with people at airports, and I love to watch other people experience it too. ...I choose to ignore the people that are leaving/separating, because it's sad and pokes a hole in my theory. That's the secret to living - just ignore the stuff that doesn't agree with you, right?
***
THIS:
Awesome.
So this morning I was:
207.6!
Only .4 of a gain after the week I had? I'll TAKE it! A nice lucky break to start the day, and it only continued....
I walked into work to...utter chaos. Everyone saw me and comes RUSHING over in a frenzy about it being my last day (nobody knew until the email I sent out on Friday, informing them as much) and they essentially petitioned the office manager to keep me on through mid-May!
So I've got another month of work! (and a need to sit down and figure out when and how I can motivate myself to the gym. Need to try the whole AM thing again, it was really great for that one week!)
Though I did get a little bit of exercise in today! I took a nice long walk during my lunch break. It was a fairly brisk walk, maybe medium brisk? DC Geography Time! My office is at 21st and L, and I walked over to 17th and then down to the mall...over to 18th and back up and over to my office. I traced it on MapMyRun and it said it was almost 2.5 miles! It was beautiful and warm and sunny out today, I really enjoyed getting that Vitamin D!
***
Even though we are clearly poor bloggers for not taking a picture, Becca, Megan and I met up for lunch this Saturday! I had so much fun. We went to a thai place in Old Town Alexandria that is right on the water. Beautiful views and tasty food! I got a veggie tofu thing that I dominated. Yum! Becca and I have met once before but it was great to finally meet Megan. She's the gem that coined Kat and I as Bert and Ernie, so she's clearly very important!
***
I might go to Richmond AGAIN this weekend. I went about three weeks ago, and then two weeks before that. Apparently I can't get enough!
***
I am picking up my friend at the airport this Friday. I love picking people up at airports. I actually just love airports, period. I know, it's weird. I think I've mentioned this before. It's like the beginning of Love Actually, when they show all the people reuniting...that's my fave. I have so many vivid memories of reuniting with people at airports, and I love to watch other people experience it too. ...I choose to ignore the people that are leaving/separating, because it's sad and pokes a hole in my theory. That's the secret to living - just ignore the stuff that doesn't agree with you, right?
***
THIS:
Awesome.
05 April 2010
Weighting for Guffman
Any Christopher Guest fans? This is Spinal Tap, For Your Consideration, Best in Show...all classics.
I have to drag myself to work today (I've already considered calling out 4 times this morning...) so I'll make this quick so I'm not sitting around any longer!
I'm at:
207.2
That's a 1.6 loss from last week! Not bad considering I only exercised twice - last Monday and yesterday :-P. Oops?
I obviously didn't reach my April goal of 201.8, but I'm getting closer! For the last two months I've lost about 9 pounds a month - that will get me into Onederland by next month if I keep it up - that's what I'm really concerned with! Though I wouldn't mind getting those monthly goals back on track...but I'm narrowing the gap!
I have to drag myself to work today (I've already considered calling out 4 times this morning...) so I'll make this quick so I'm not sitting around any longer!
I'm at:
207.2
That's a 1.6 loss from last week! Not bad considering I only exercised twice - last Monday and yesterday :-P. Oops?
I obviously didn't reach my April goal of 201.8, but I'm getting closer! For the last two months I've lost about 9 pounds a month - that will get me into Onederland by next month if I keep it up - that's what I'm really concerned with! Though I wouldn't mind getting those monthly goals back on track...but I'm narrowing the gap!
29 March 2010
Weighting for My Rocket to Come (colon, did you see what I did there)
I am really, really surprised at this morning’s number. After all my hard work this week, getting back into the gym at ridiculously early hours, and mindful and healthy eating…I just never…I really wanted to clear the 50 pound loss mark – I’ll say it, I sort of had my heart set on it.
So when I stepped on the scale and saw
208.8
Oh, did you not see that? Let me be a little louder, I’ll try not to wake the neighbors:
208.8
Ha! See what I did there? You thought I was headed straight to GainTown and I took a sharp left at ILostALOTville. Anyway, I am really surprised! As I said, I really was hoping for 210 so I could proudly say I cleared the 50 pound mark, it never occurred to me that I could PASS it!
(This does, also, also reinforce my beliefs that I did not weigh 215 last week – I indeed weighed myself over the next couple of days after last Monday’s weigh in, after my water consumption and eating leveled off and I was closer to 212/213, which makes a lot more sense for this week’s loss. I don’t know if I’d be happy if I lost 6.8 in one week – I’d be concerned b/c I don’t think I should really be losing that much. So the actual loss from last week is probably something like 4.2 or 3.2. Still a big number but a safe big number!)
So let’s talk goals. First of all, I can proudly say as of this morning, I have lost 51.8 pounds. I’m halfway there…
According to my monthly tracking: There’s no good way I can get down to 201.8 by next Monday (first week in April, I’m stretching out March…:-P) but I am definitely going to get as close as I can! In February, I was 7 pounds over my goal, in March I was 6 pounds over…so I just want to close that gap as much as I can so that 1: I can get down inte Onederland by/in May, and 2: start changing those blacks to greens instead of black to reds!
My other sidebar goals: since I say Onederland/Move out of home by May…I’m pretty sure I can only realistically accomplish one of them, and it doesn’t involve moving boxes. (Unless you count packing up some old clothes and emotional baggage, HIIYOOOOOOOO) So it’s really important to me to get the weight half, because I don’t want to set it and then not get it. I’m not Ron Popile.*
But it’s all one day at a time. I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I’m really guilty of the “If I keep going like this, I’ll lose this many more pounds by this day and THEN I’ll REALLY show ‘em!” There are so many things wrong with that statement. So I’m just going to focus in on the now, and be really happy that I came back from my fairly deep slump in January. There are a lot of things that still aren’t going my way (hello, I need a permanent, full time job. PLEASE!) so I need to appreciate the things that are going well, and just keep working. For example, I’m sitting here in my gym clothes and after I hit Publish, I’m gonna run downstairs, grab some breakfast, pack my lunch and my snacks and then head out to sweat a little bit.
*I love you if you can connect the dots of my thoughts on this one – Ron Popile, the informercial guy? Inventor of the Set It And Forget It? See what I did there, with the goals? Haha. Also, we have a Set It and Forget It, and it comes with an instructional video that tells you, explicitly, to not set it and forget it. Because they assume that you will probably do it wrong and if you forget it, you’ll burn your house down. Seriously. ...I love infomercials. What fun infomercial stuff do you have?
So when I stepped on the scale and saw
208.8
Oh, did you not see that? Let me be a little louder, I’ll try not to wake the neighbors:
208.8
Ha! See what I did there? You thought I was headed straight to GainTown and I took a sharp left at ILostALOTville. Anyway, I am really surprised! As I said, I really was hoping for 210 so I could proudly say I cleared the 50 pound mark, it never occurred to me that I could PASS it!
(This does, also, also reinforce my beliefs that I did not weigh 215 last week – I indeed weighed myself over the next couple of days after last Monday’s weigh in, after my water consumption and eating leveled off and I was closer to 212/213, which makes a lot more sense for this week’s loss. I don’t know if I’d be happy if I lost 6.8 in one week – I’d be concerned b/c I don’t think I should really be losing that much. So the actual loss from last week is probably something like 4.2 or 3.2. Still a big number but a safe big number!)
So let’s talk goals. First of all, I can proudly say as of this morning, I have lost 51.8 pounds. I’m halfway there…
According to my monthly tracking: There’s no good way I can get down to 201.8 by next Monday (first week in April, I’m stretching out March…:-P) but I am definitely going to get as close as I can! In February, I was 7 pounds over my goal, in March I was 6 pounds over…so I just want to close that gap as much as I can so that 1: I can get down inte Onederland by/in May, and 2: start changing those blacks to greens instead of black to reds!
My other sidebar goals: since I say Onederland/Move out of home by May…I’m pretty sure I can only realistically accomplish one of them, and it doesn’t involve moving boxes. (Unless you count packing up some old clothes and emotional baggage, HIIYOOOOOOOO) So it’s really important to me to get the weight half, because I don’t want to set it and then not get it. I’m not Ron Popile.*
But it’s all one day at a time. I don’t want to get ahead of myself. I’m really guilty of the “If I keep going like this, I’ll lose this many more pounds by this day and THEN I’ll REALLY show ‘em!” There are so many things wrong with that statement. So I’m just going to focus in on the now, and be really happy that I came back from my fairly deep slump in January. There are a lot of things that still aren’t going my way (hello, I need a permanent, full time job. PLEASE!) so I need to appreciate the things that are going well, and just keep working. For example, I’m sitting here in my gym clothes and after I hit Publish, I’m gonna run downstairs, grab some breakfast, pack my lunch and my snacks and then head out to sweat a little bit.
*I love you if you can connect the dots of my thoughts on this one – Ron Popile, the informercial guy? Inventor of the Set It And Forget It? See what I did there, with the goals? Haha. Also, we have a Set It and Forget It, and it comes with an instructional video that tells you, explicitly, to not set it and forget it. Because they assume that you will probably do it wrong and if you forget it, you’ll burn your house down. Seriously. ...I love infomercials. What fun infomercial stuff do you have?
22 March 2010
That's the Weigh Love Goes
Ha, well, Taylor was not as kind to me this morning. I'd go as far as saying she was HARSH.
215.6!
Up 4.6 from last week? Wow. Yikes. It sucks, and I'm disappointed because it's like I have to drop those 4 pounds all over again...and it would have been nice to get to a 50 pound loss...but at the same time, considering my weekend, I feel like some of it might be a last minute reaction from the scale in terms of my water intake (or lack of, in my case) and such. So I'm just gonna try and make this week better!
Ha, you'll notice whenever I gain, I'm like "It's just the scale!" and whenever I lose a bunch, "It's my hard work and dedication reflected accurately in the scale!" Iiiiinteresting.
***
In other news, I'm toying with the idea of switching gyms. As I read all of your blogs, and read about all the things that yours offers, I'm getting a little envious. Mine is great for the price ($30 a month), it's right by my house, and it's all women so I'm not intimidated...but it doesn't offer much. There aren't any good classes (and when there are they often get cancelled), there is one shower and I've never seen anyone use it (shady), and there aren't any other locations (like in the city, so I could go before/after/during work) I can go to. I want a gym I can be excited about, that I can really, I dunno, sink my teeth into, if you will. I could probably come up with a better metaphor/visual for that, but, you get what I mean, right?!
I don't want to pay too much more than I already do, but I would be willing to invest a little more to get back a little more, ya know? Where do you go? If you have any advice about good deals in my area (DC/Northern Virginia) email me or get in touch! I'm easily persuaded :-)
***
A biiiiiiig thank you to 266 and Scuttleboose for giving me awards! I have to skedaddle to get ready for work, but I will surely do the required steps later this evening :-)
215.6!
Up 4.6 from last week? Wow. Yikes. It sucks, and I'm disappointed because it's like I have to drop those 4 pounds all over again...and it would have been nice to get to a 50 pound loss...but at the same time, considering my weekend, I feel like some of it might be a last minute reaction from the scale in terms of my water intake (or lack of, in my case) and such. So I'm just gonna try and make this week better!
Ha, you'll notice whenever I gain, I'm like "It's just the scale!" and whenever I lose a bunch, "It's my hard work and dedication reflected accurately in the scale!" Iiiiinteresting.
***
In other news, I'm toying with the idea of switching gyms. As I read all of your blogs, and read about all the things that yours offers, I'm getting a little envious. Mine is great for the price ($30 a month), it's right by my house, and it's all women so I'm not intimidated...but it doesn't offer much. There aren't any good classes (and when there are they often get cancelled), there is one shower and I've never seen anyone use it (shady), and there aren't any other locations (like in the city, so I could go before/after/during work) I can go to. I want a gym I can be excited about, that I can really, I dunno, sink my teeth into, if you will. I could probably come up with a better metaphor/visual for that, but, you get what I mean, right?!
I don't want to pay too much more than I already do, but I would be willing to invest a little more to get back a little more, ya know? Where do you go? If you have any advice about good deals in my area (DC/Northern Virginia) email me or get in touch! I'm easily persuaded :-)
***
A biiiiiiig thank you to 266 and Scuttleboose for giving me awards! I have to skedaddle to get ready for work, but I will surely do the required steps later this evening :-)
15 March 2010
omg...are you ready for this one....The Weigh I Meal
TWO-FER! Ha! I can hear you all groaning and I love it. You know, I'm not really that big into puns or that kind of humor but...for some reason...if I can get you all to roll your eyes (so much that I can hear it through my monitor) then I think I've accomplished something.
Also, any Matt Wertz fans out there? I enjoy him.
Clearly I'm in a good mood, so you can guess the kind of conversation that T-Dawg and I had this morning:
211
on the dot! That's a 3.8 loss from last week! I really worked hard on my choices last week so I'm happy it was reflected in the scale.
Also, here's my food from yesterday...it doesn't seem like a lot, but I woke up late and went to bed early, so I was full allllllll day, trust.
*Breakfast:
*egg scramble: ½ cup egg subst., 1 chorizo chicken sausage, ½ cup bell pepper frozen veggie mix, a dash of cayenne pepper
*1 Trader Joe’s mini whole wheat bagel with 1 tbsp polaner’s sugar free raspberry jam
*1 scoop Amazing Grass Chocolate GreenSuperFood mix with 8 oz unsweetened vanilla almond milk
Lunch:
*1/2 cup fage 0% greek yogurt mixed with: heaping tbsp of peanut butter, 1 scoop Amazing Grass Chocolate GreenSuperFood mix, about 1/2 cup of granola
Dinner:
*sandwich: garlic naan, 3 falafal balls, 2 tbsp tzatziki sauce, alfalfa sprouts, romaine lettuce
******
Here's hoping today will be a good one for everyone!
PS - the other day I had another one of my Steaz Zero Calorie Black Cherry Sparkling Green Tea (I think I'm gonna get carpal tunnel from typing that out every time) and this was the bottlecap message:
Also, any Matt Wertz fans out there? I enjoy him.
Clearly I'm in a good mood, so you can guess the kind of conversation that T-Dawg and I had this morning:
211
on the dot! That's a 3.8 loss from last week! I really worked hard on my choices last week so I'm happy it was reflected in the scale.
Also, here's my food from yesterday...it doesn't seem like a lot, but I woke up late and went to bed early, so I was full allllllll day, trust.
*Breakfast:
*egg scramble: ½ cup egg subst., 1 chorizo chicken sausage, ½ cup bell pepper frozen veggie mix, a dash of cayenne pepper
*1 Trader Joe’s mini whole wheat bagel with 1 tbsp polaner’s sugar free raspberry jam
*1 scoop Amazing Grass Chocolate GreenSuperFood mix with 8 oz unsweetened vanilla almond milk
Lunch:
*1/2 cup fage 0% greek yogurt mixed with: heaping tbsp of peanut butter, 1 scoop Amazing Grass Chocolate GreenSuperFood mix, about 1/2 cup of granola
Dinner:
*sandwich: garlic naan, 3 falafal balls, 2 tbsp tzatziki sauce, alfalfa sprouts, romaine lettuce
******
Here's hoping today will be a good one for everyone!
PS - the other day I had another one of my Steaz Zero Calorie Black Cherry Sparkling Green Tea (I think I'm gonna get carpal tunnel from typing that out every time) and this was the bottlecap message:
Damn straight, Steaz! (please excuse the poor manicure)
08 March 2010
Carlito's Weigh
I’m back! Haha, I took a break Sunday because…you can guess how one feels after spending a night with her old college friends? Fun, but…I was a little slower than usual on Sunday!
The rest of Saturday’s eating was okay…I had lunch out with other old college friends, I got a sandwich called The Rhysdale: “Smoked turkey, cranberry spread, herbed cream cheese & petit greens” It was really good! And, okay, I got it with sweet potato fries. Which were delicious. But I left some of everything on the plate, even though I wanted to inhale it!
Dinner wasn’t really dinner, it was grazing at the food set out at the party. I ate a little more because I was also drinking (see: Sunday, slow moving) and I didn’t want things to get unfortunate! I had some grapes, a few potato chips and tortilla chips, a small piece of cheese, LOTS of cucumber slices and baby carrots, a few dips of hummus, wheat thins, bread/cheese things called mozzarella bites, oh and a few bites of this cheese dip stuff. It was all pretty tasty. I drank more than I normally do, but definitely not to the extent that I did in my actual college days! So I’m okay with it, and choosing to ignore the amount of calories I may have ingested that night!
On Sunday, after driving home, I had breakfast/lunch, (Trader Joe’s chicken tikka malala and a piece of tandoori naan) and then tried to stay awake…and failed. I took a really long nap. Then I did a little housekeeping, drank a chocolate greensuperfood mix, then went to bed.
But true to form, I got on the scale this morning!
214.8
I’ll take it! It’s 2 pounds less than last week and includes a day off AND night of drinking, so I can’t complain!
(oh also, you’ll notice I’m posting this a bit later…I took a mental health day from work – after a weekend?, you say skeptically…yes, after a weekend, I basically have anxiety every time I go into work so…I didn’t really feel like it today)
Now I’m off to go see if I can make my day somewhat productive. We’ll see how that works out!
The rest of Saturday’s eating was okay…I had lunch out with other old college friends, I got a sandwich called The Rhysdale: “Smoked turkey, cranberry spread, herbed cream cheese & petit greens” It was really good! And, okay, I got it with sweet potato fries. Which were delicious. But I left some of everything on the plate, even though I wanted to inhale it!
Dinner wasn’t really dinner, it was grazing at the food set out at the party. I ate a little more because I was also drinking (see: Sunday, slow moving) and I didn’t want things to get unfortunate! I had some grapes, a few potato chips and tortilla chips, a small piece of cheese, LOTS of cucumber slices and baby carrots, a few dips of hummus, wheat thins, bread/cheese things called mozzarella bites, oh and a few bites of this cheese dip stuff. It was all pretty tasty. I drank more than I normally do, but definitely not to the extent that I did in my actual college days! So I’m okay with it, and choosing to ignore the amount of calories I may have ingested that night!
On Sunday, after driving home, I had breakfast/lunch, (Trader Joe’s chicken tikka malala and a piece of tandoori naan) and then tried to stay awake…and failed. I took a really long nap. Then I did a little housekeeping, drank a chocolate greensuperfood mix, then went to bed.
But true to form, I got on the scale this morning!
214.8
I’ll take it! It’s 2 pounds less than last week and includes a day off AND night of drinking, so I can’t complain!
(oh also, you’ll notice I’m posting this a bit later…I took a mental health day from work – after a weekend?, you say skeptically…yes, after a weekend, I basically have anxiety every time I go into work so…I didn’t really feel like it today)
Now I’m off to go see if I can make my day somewhat productive. We’ll see how that works out!
01 March 2010
Twistin' the Night Aweigh
Who doesn't love a lil Sam Cooke reference in the morning? I certainly do.
So, T-Dog and I are buddies this morning:
216.8
WOO!
That’s 3.6 down from last week. Totally happy with that. Though I’m over my March starting off point, I think I made a good dent this week in catching up to it.
It also means I lost 9 pounds this month, and I am definitely happy about that!
(For those of you that are new and/or not familiar with my strangeness, T-Dog is short for Taylor, which is the name of my scale. Because that's the brand name. I name my inanimate objects, but that doesn't mean I have to be creative! I named my car too - her name is Daisy. I have a friend whose iPod is named Bridget. Does anyone else name inanimate objects in their life?)
So, T-Dog and I are buddies this morning:
216.8
WOO!
That’s 3.6 down from last week. Totally happy with that. Though I’m over my March starting off point, I think I made a good dent this week in catching up to it.
It also means I lost 9 pounds this month, and I am definitely happy about that!
(For those of you that are new and/or not familiar with my strangeness, T-Dog is short for Taylor, which is the name of my scale. Because that's the brand name. I name my inanimate objects, but that doesn't mean I have to be creative! I named my car too - her name is Daisy. I have a friend whose iPod is named Bridget. Does anyone else name inanimate objects in their life?)
22 February 2010
Any Weigh You Want It
This morning Taylor says:
220.4
Same as last week! To be honest with you, my initial reaction is frustration, but I think considering I ate my weight in peanut butter puffins this weekend, it’s okay. I’m going to accept my maintain.
(Sarah, re: your comment, I am NOT buying any more of these after this box is done...there's maybe 1/4 of the box left now and that's after having it for two days! Haha, it's not good. These are a total danger zone. I wonder if I could rig up a system like in greeting cards where everytime I open the pb puffins box it plays Highway To The Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins.)
In other news, my sad little giveaway ended, and KatDoesDiets is the winner! Hooray!
In other other news, I made it through all the stages with another EHarmony Guy. EHarmony Guy 2, I guess. EHarmony Guy: The Squeakuel. EHarmony Guy: The Empire Strikes Back. Anyway, he’s actually one of the guys I initiated contact with, so that’s cool I guess. We’re meeting next Sunday afternoon. We’ll see what happens!
*Speaking of Highway To The Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins, I had that as my ringtone for about a year...do you know how many smiles and laughs and compliments I got on it?! Haha, seriously, if random people heard my phone ring they'd come up to me and be like "That's. Awesome." People love them some Top Gun.
220.4
Same as last week! To be honest with you, my initial reaction is frustration, but I think considering I ate my weight in peanut butter puffins this weekend, it’s okay. I’m going to accept my maintain.
(Sarah, re: your comment, I am NOT buying any more of these after this box is done...there's maybe 1/4 of the box left now and that's after having it for two days! Haha, it's not good. These are a total danger zone. I wonder if I could rig up a system like in greeting cards where everytime I open the pb puffins box it plays Highway To The Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins.)
In other news, my sad little giveaway ended, and KatDoesDiets is the winner! Hooray!
In other other news, I made it through all the stages with another EHarmony Guy. EHarmony Guy 2, I guess. EHarmony Guy: The Squeakuel. EHarmony Guy: The Empire Strikes Back. Anyway, he’s actually one of the guys I initiated contact with, so that’s cool I guess. We’re meeting next Sunday afternoon. We’ll see what happens!
*Speaking of Highway To The Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins, I had that as my ringtone for about a year...do you know how many smiles and laughs and compliments I got on it?! Haha, seriously, if random people heard my phone ring they'd come up to me and be like "That's. Awesome." People love them some Top Gun.
15 February 2010
Gone Aweigh From Me
It's 6:15am as I type this, and I have to go to work today. Work on a holiday, sheesh! I'm still temping at the same place, and the "big events" that we've been gearing up for are happening at the end of this week. I basically have to front-load all my hours the first three days of the week. They told me not to be surprised if I knock out my 40 hours by Wednesday. Well then.
But you don't care so much about that, do you? I just wanted to start us off with something other than this, what I really wanted to say:
220.4 IN YO' FACE SUCKA!
Mind you, good looking reader, that you are in no way the Sucka to which I am referring. Just a general exclamation (albeit a bit aggressive and/or fratty fratster) that shows my struggles are paying off. I feel like I'm scraping by; like I'm trying so hard but I still don't feel like I'm making progress.
I still feel like I go through an internal battle every time I eat something of good vs. evil, but I am making a difference! I'm down like 4 pounds from last week.
It's a good way to start the day, that's for sure!
***
One other thing before I go, lovelies. I want to start having better blogging practices again. Two things have been on my mind:
1 - The name of my blog is 100in12 - I feel like I've abandoned that journey completely. Not that I'm no longer trying to lose weight, but...that specific goal feels like it's almost all but slipped away. I don't like that, because it's very me. I'm good at starting things and terrible at finishing them. So I want to make an effort to try and return to my former glory of a few months ago.
2- I miss you guys. I miss commenting on your blogs and hearing about your days and your struggles and victories.
3 - I realize this is like the eighteenth time I've made this pledge. Yuck.
4 - I AM DOING THAT DAMN GIVEAWAY THIS WEEK. I AM.
But you don't care so much about that, do you? I just wanted to start us off with something other than this, what I really wanted to say:
220.4 IN YO' FACE SUCKA!
Mind you, good looking reader, that you are in no way the Sucka to which I am referring. Just a general exclamation (albeit a bit aggressive and/or fratty fratster) that shows my struggles are paying off. I feel like I'm scraping by; like I'm trying so hard but I still don't feel like I'm making progress.
I still feel like I go through an internal battle every time I eat something of good vs. evil, but I am making a difference! I'm down like 4 pounds from last week.
It's a good way to start the day, that's for sure!
***
One other thing before I go, lovelies. I want to start having better blogging practices again. Two things have been on my mind:
1 - The name of my blog is 100in12 - I feel like I've abandoned that journey completely. Not that I'm no longer trying to lose weight, but...that specific goal feels like it's almost all but slipped away. I don't like that, because it's very me. I'm good at starting things and terrible at finishing them. So I want to make an effort to try and return to my former glory of a few months ago.
2- I miss you guys. I miss commenting on your blogs and hearing about your days and your struggles and victories.
3 - I realize this is like the eighteenth time I've made this pledge. Yuck.
4 - I AM DOING THAT DAMN GIVEAWAY THIS WEEK. I AM.
08 February 2010
Weigh I Am
224! That's down from last week, HOLLER!
Other updates:
*May be making a real life, actual EHarmony date soon. Totally nervous. I'm still expecting to show up and be stood up. The whole "he looks in the window and sees me sitting there, and then bolts" scenario. I really need some self esteem.
*No work today, and I still can't go anywhere because of the snow. I tried this morning - barely got down the road, and turned around and came back home. It's still really bad out there. Having a Corolla doesn' help. I love my baby and I don't want her out in this nonsense.
*It's a real challenge to keep myself from sitting inside and eating all day. Normally if I'm awake in the early hours, it's because I have work - but now I don't and I'm not sleepy...so my instinct is to eat. From boredom. Or to bake and THEN eat, also from boredom. Yikes. This is going to be a tough week for me. Oh, plus, being anxious about the potential EHarmony date also makes me want to eat. Ugh.
*I talked to The Matriarch (from The Family, if you remember) the other day during the snowstorm. It wasn't 4 minutes into the conversation when she asked me if I was still going to the gym. I told her I was, but not as often. And then she launched into talking about the Wii Fit and all that. It...irritated me to no end. I had a dream about this same kind of scenario the other day, but it was real life this time. I just wanted to say to her:
"The FIRST thing you bring up with me is always food and or exercising. Always. It's always about the weight - with me, with you, with somebody. Are you physically capable about talking about other things, at the very least to make me feel like you love me for reasons OTHER than how much I weigh?!"
I know a large part of my annoyance was because I'm not happy with where I am in my "journey", and I don't want someone making me confront it. On the other hand, when she was here back in September, she did the same thing - asking me about my gym habits and what I was doing, and how I was "making her feel bad" for all the work I was doing...I still hated it, and I was doing really well. AGHHH!!! It just makes me so mad. It makes me want to not talk to her, and that makes me sad.
Eh...I didn't want to end on a sad/irritated note, because now I have myself all riled up again over it. I'm gonna go try and find something to do that doesn't involve me eating myself out of house and home.
Other updates:
*May be making a real life, actual EHarmony date soon. Totally nervous. I'm still expecting to show up and be stood up. The whole "he looks in the window and sees me sitting there, and then bolts" scenario. I really need some self esteem.
*No work today, and I still can't go anywhere because of the snow. I tried this morning - barely got down the road, and turned around and came back home. It's still really bad out there. Having a Corolla doesn' help. I love my baby and I don't want her out in this nonsense.
*It's a real challenge to keep myself from sitting inside and eating all day. Normally if I'm awake in the early hours, it's because I have work - but now I don't and I'm not sleepy...so my instinct is to eat. From boredom. Or to bake and THEN eat, also from boredom. Yikes. This is going to be a tough week for me. Oh, plus, being anxious about the potential EHarmony date also makes me want to eat. Ugh.
*I talked to The Matriarch (from The Family, if you remember) the other day during the snowstorm. It wasn't 4 minutes into the conversation when she asked me if I was still going to the gym. I told her I was, but not as often. And then she launched into talking about the Wii Fit and all that. It...irritated me to no end. I had a dream about this same kind of scenario the other day, but it was real life this time. I just wanted to say to her:
"The FIRST thing you bring up with me is always food and or exercising. Always. It's always about the weight - with me, with you, with somebody. Are you physically capable about talking about other things, at the very least to make me feel like you love me for reasons OTHER than how much I weigh?!"
I know a large part of my annoyance was because I'm not happy with where I am in my "journey", and I don't want someone making me confront it. On the other hand, when she was here back in September, she did the same thing - asking me about my gym habits and what I was doing, and how I was "making her feel bad" for all the work I was doing...I still hated it, and I was doing really well. AGHHH!!! It just makes me so mad. It makes me want to not talk to her, and that makes me sad.
Eh...I didn't want to end on a sad/irritated note, because now I have myself all riled up again over it. I'm gonna go try and find something to do that doesn't involve me eating myself out of house and home.
01 February 2010
YEESH
Hi again. I'm so sorry it's been an entire week. I'm writing this in the morning as I'm getting ready for work - I'm thinking this temp job is going to last a few more weeks, which is good. So anyway, I'm gonna get down to business.
My weight this week is: 225.8. Good in that I maintained, bad in that it's my starting/ending weight for the month, and this is the first time I haven't met (and obliterated) my goal. So that's sad, because honestly I feel like I'm out of control. Things aren't awful but I don't feel myself getting better, either.
I do really well in the mornings and afternoons. My breakfast and lunch and snacks are healthy. And then I get home after work and I don't care anymore. And forget about the weekends.
And no exercise, either. Other than the 4 flights of stairs I have to climb up to get to my car in the Metro parking garage.
I hate that I'm sliding backwards. And that I can't stop myself from buying horrid food at the grocery store. It honestly feels like I'm punishing myself; like I'm aware of it but I still can't stop it. Man, if I could afford therapy you know where I'd be right now.
And that's it, really - there are two things I'm realizing. One, I just mentioned. I probably need to be in therapy. Did I tell you already that I did that once? In 2008, for about 6 months - as a student, my school allows you something like 12 sessions for free, so I went. It was one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
The other thing is that I REALLY need to move out of my house. I feel like it's crushing me. It's crushing who I want to be. I understand that moving out is somewhat of a "quick fix", hence the need for therapy, but it absolutely has to happen. I'm still applying for jobs, and haven't gotten any call-backs in a while, but I'm working on it. Moving out NEEDS to happen.
So I guess I'm realizing I'm not in a good place right now, emotionally that is. Maybe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. Maybe I have real depression. Maybe some weird gray area between the two. Or maybe I'm just feeling poorly because I'm eating poorly. Regardless, it's not good any way you cut it.
But let's focus on the positives, shall we?
1- I've been working. Money is always good. I don't think this will turn into a permanent position, but I'm hoping I can still network and make some contacts along the way.
2 - My morning and afternoon eating have been good. I've been packing myself good stuff again. Arnold's thin, greek yogurt, string cheese, V8, Progresso soup(! Yeah, I have like 4 reviews to do. They're tasty and they're forthcoming, I promise) and water. I'm in dire need of fruits and vegetables, though. I haven't bought any in a while. (That's probably why I've been sick with a flu/cold for a week...ugh)
3 - EHarmony: Haven't been on an actual date yet, but there are some potential suitors. No one has popped on the screen yet, but all in good time. I've done some pursuing that hasn't really worked out, and people are pursuing me. So there are things happening but nothing's really happening yet. Ha :-P
*****
I'm sorry for the all-business-no-silliness post. I miss you guys, I really do. There has been so much going on and I've been avoiding this blog world. I see people losing weight and exercising and leaving me in the dust. It doesn't make a girl feel good. But I know it's my own doing. Sigh.
The crazy thing is, despite the fact that I have my first "red" monthly goal over there, I don't feel too bad about staying at the same weight. I went up a week or two, and I'd love it if I could go back down.
It's hard to know when you're sensationalizing everything, and when you really need to address serious problems, you know? I tend to exaggerate and blow things out of proportion - and I want to hold myself accountable while also being nice to myself. Is such a thing possible?
(Also, apologies for the broken-stream-of-consciousness-writing, and probable spelling errors - I got up at 5am today. Ew.)
My weight this week is: 225.8. Good in that I maintained, bad in that it's my starting/ending weight for the month, and this is the first time I haven't met (and obliterated) my goal. So that's sad, because honestly I feel like I'm out of control. Things aren't awful but I don't feel myself getting better, either.
I do really well in the mornings and afternoons. My breakfast and lunch and snacks are healthy. And then I get home after work and I don't care anymore. And forget about the weekends.
And no exercise, either. Other than the 4 flights of stairs I have to climb up to get to my car in the Metro parking garage.
I hate that I'm sliding backwards. And that I can't stop myself from buying horrid food at the grocery store. It honestly feels like I'm punishing myself; like I'm aware of it but I still can't stop it. Man, if I could afford therapy you know where I'd be right now.
And that's it, really - there are two things I'm realizing. One, I just mentioned. I probably need to be in therapy. Did I tell you already that I did that once? In 2008, for about 6 months - as a student, my school allows you something like 12 sessions for free, so I went. It was one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
The other thing is that I REALLY need to move out of my house. I feel like it's crushing me. It's crushing who I want to be. I understand that moving out is somewhat of a "quick fix", hence the need for therapy, but it absolutely has to happen. I'm still applying for jobs, and haven't gotten any call-backs in a while, but I'm working on it. Moving out NEEDS to happen.
So I guess I'm realizing I'm not in a good place right now, emotionally that is. Maybe I have Seasonal Affective Disorder. Maybe I have real depression. Maybe some weird gray area between the two. Or maybe I'm just feeling poorly because I'm eating poorly. Regardless, it's not good any way you cut it.
But let's focus on the positives, shall we?
1- I've been working. Money is always good. I don't think this will turn into a permanent position, but I'm hoping I can still network and make some contacts along the way.
2 - My morning and afternoon eating have been good. I've been packing myself good stuff again. Arnold's thin, greek yogurt, string cheese, V8, Progresso soup(! Yeah, I have like 4 reviews to do. They're tasty and they're forthcoming, I promise) and water. I'm in dire need of fruits and vegetables, though. I haven't bought any in a while. (That's probably why I've been sick with a flu/cold for a week...ugh)
3 - EHarmony: Haven't been on an actual date yet, but there are some potential suitors. No one has popped on the screen yet, but all in good time. I've done some pursuing that hasn't really worked out, and people are pursuing me. So there are things happening but nothing's really happening yet. Ha :-P
*****
I'm sorry for the all-business-no-silliness post. I miss you guys, I really do. There has been so much going on and I've been avoiding this blog world. I see people losing weight and exercising and leaving me in the dust. It doesn't make a girl feel good. But I know it's my own doing. Sigh.
The crazy thing is, despite the fact that I have my first "red" monthly goal over there, I don't feel too bad about staying at the same weight. I went up a week or two, and I'd love it if I could go back down.
It's hard to know when you're sensationalizing everything, and when you really need to address serious problems, you know? I tend to exaggerate and blow things out of proportion - and I want to hold myself accountable while also being nice to myself. Is such a thing possible?
(Also, apologies for the broken-stream-of-consciousness-writing, and probable spelling errors - I got up at 5am today. Ew.)
11 January 2010
She Moves in Secret Weighs
Heeyyooooo! Back with the pun-ny post titles. How do you like that. I'm not making any promises, because it's actually really tough to come up with one for "meal" and "food" every day. I'm running out of ideas. If you have any ideas for those, send them my way! I'll even credit you :-)
Okay, so you'll notice my cheerful disposition and excessive use of smiley emoticons and exclamation marks. I...LOST WEIGHT.
I literally don't know how this is possible. In fact I kind of think it's unfair given the week that I've had even if I did sort of get my head together the past few days. I'm not about to give the lost weight back to the scale, but...I dunno, it feels different when you know you didn't earn it, right?
This is what Taylizzle told me this morning:
217
That's a 1.8 pounds from last week. I am dumbfounded and happy and weirded out but I'm gonna roll with it and have a better week this week.
(and thanks for your comments on the vlog. it made coming out of the blogset much easier, hehe! I guess the reason I stayed anonymous at first was because I was afraid if my friends ever stumbled upon this blog, they would see my weight and I would be embarrassed. But at this point, I should be proud to show off what I've accomplished, rather than ashamed of what I haven't yet, right? That's how I should feel, now I just have to get there!)
(oh and Rebecca, let me know when you're in Baltimore! We're totally hanging out. Done deal.)
(I'm just gonna keep going with this whole parenthetical post, and tell you that I just got a new winter coat - because I have great timing and all - from Target on clearance. It was $7.50! It's a cute salmon-pink pea coat. It's an XXL and I can button it but it's not comfortable. And yet I have an XXL dress of theirs that is big on me now...their sizing confuses me. But anyway, this coat is on the "Must Lose Weight To Wear" list!)
Okay, so you'll notice my cheerful disposition and excessive use of smiley emoticons and exclamation marks. I...LOST WEIGHT.
I literally don't know how this is possible. In fact I kind of think it's unfair given the week that I've had even if I did sort of get my head together the past few days. I'm not about to give the lost weight back to the scale, but...I dunno, it feels different when you know you didn't earn it, right?
This is what Taylizzle told me this morning:
217
That's a 1.8 pounds from last week. I am dumbfounded and happy and weirded out but I'm gonna roll with it and have a better week this week.
(and thanks for your comments on the vlog. it made coming out of the blogset much easier, hehe! I guess the reason I stayed anonymous at first was because I was afraid if my friends ever stumbled upon this blog, they would see my weight and I would be embarrassed. But at this point, I should be proud to show off what I've accomplished, rather than ashamed of what I haven't yet, right? That's how I should feel, now I just have to get there!)
(oh and Rebecca, let me know when you're in Baltimore! We're totally hanging out. Done deal.)
(I'm just gonna keep going with this whole parenthetical post, and tell you that I just got a new winter coat - because I have great timing and all - from Target on clearance. It was $7.50! It's a cute salmon-pink pea coat. It's an XXL and I can button it but it's not comfortable. And yet I have an XXL dress of theirs that is big on me now...their sizing confuses me. But anyway, this coat is on the "Must Lose Weight To Wear" list!)
04 January 2010
Heeeeey bloggers (said in Buster Bluth voice)
Holy 101 followers, batman! I had no idea - I've been avoiding my blog given my lack of posting, and so I didn't know I hit the 100 mark until just now. The last time I looked it was at 96 and I half expected it to go down instead of up.
Thanks to you five for totally making my day.
So.
I've spent the past week with my friends; we spent every day together and watched movies, played video games, did jigsaw puzzles, cooked, ate, laughed, did a little bit of drinking on NYE and spent 3 hours skype-ing with our dear friend in the Air Force, currently overseas.
I did very little but I am very happy.
I weighed myself this morning. I know this is now Week 3 of being "off track" or whatever you want to call it, but I think the minute (or week) that I don't weigh myself is the week things really go downhill. Regardless of the number, stepping on that scale is still an acknowledgement that I'm trying to lose weight. Right? Maybe that's what I'm telling myself to feel better, but I think there's at least a shred of truth to it.
Hoooooo boy was I lucky. I am actually not sure how this is accurate, but what the hell!
218.8.
Same.
As.
Last.
Week.
After a week of: ice cream, s'mores, burger and fries, pizza, bagels, chinese food, sandwiches and chips, chocolate, wine, diet coke (I actually had one regular coke yesterday b/c my friend was out of the dc...the regular coke was gross. do not like.) and many other similar foods I'm sure I'm forgetting.
I am not going to bother trying to figure out why I was given such a gift. Instead I'm going to thank my lucky stars.
Thank you, lucky stars, whom- or what- or wherever you might be.
(oh PS: thing I still refuse to eat: fast food. Cannot and will not bring myself to eat it. I had about 8,234 opportunities to eat Burger King this week and I refused. That is by far the thing I'm proudest of this week, even though I ate a million other bad things. Not going back to fast food is still a victory.)
I'm still here, guys. I promise. Hope you're still stopping by every once in a while. I'm gonna get back to it. I owe it to myself.* Also I've got two fun things coming up to tell you about so get ready for that.
My parents leave for Florida tomorrow. I can set up my Wii and Wii Fit (Christmas gift, hooray!) in the basement on our gigantor TV and try it out, and get back to the gym now that Operation No Exercise To Spite Mother (biggest eye roll in the history of eye rolls) is over.
*I don't 100 % believe this** but I'm trying out the "Fake It Til You Make It" approach and seeing how it works for me.
**OHHHH THE LACK OF SELF-WORTH, you are rich.
[Edit: I rearranged the stuff on the side, I need to see those monthly goals at the top to remind myself of what is going on! I got lucky in maintaining these two weeks and I cleared January's goal, so I need to start thinking about heading in a southerly direction in the scale to keep up with my targets!]
Thanks to you five for totally making my day.
So.
I've spent the past week with my friends; we spent every day together and watched movies, played video games, did jigsaw puzzles, cooked, ate, laughed, did a little bit of drinking on NYE and spent 3 hours skype-ing with our dear friend in the Air Force, currently overseas.
I did very little but I am very happy.
I weighed myself this morning. I know this is now Week 3 of being "off track" or whatever you want to call it, but I think the minute (or week) that I don't weigh myself is the week things really go downhill. Regardless of the number, stepping on that scale is still an acknowledgement that I'm trying to lose weight. Right? Maybe that's what I'm telling myself to feel better, but I think there's at least a shred of truth to it.
Hoooooo boy was I lucky. I am actually not sure how this is accurate, but what the hell!
218.8.
Same.
As.
Last.
Week.
After a week of: ice cream, s'mores, burger and fries, pizza, bagels, chinese food, sandwiches and chips, chocolate, wine, diet coke (I actually had one regular coke yesterday b/c my friend was out of the dc...the regular coke was gross. do not like.) and many other similar foods I'm sure I'm forgetting.
I am not going to bother trying to figure out why I was given such a gift. Instead I'm going to thank my lucky stars.
Thank you, lucky stars, whom- or what- or wherever you might be.
(oh PS: thing I still refuse to eat: fast food. Cannot and will not bring myself to eat it. I had about 8,234 opportunities to eat Burger King this week and I refused. That is by far the thing I'm proudest of this week, even though I ate a million other bad things. Not going back to fast food is still a victory.)
I'm still here, guys. I promise. Hope you're still stopping by every once in a while. I'm gonna get back to it. I owe it to myself.* Also I've got two fun things coming up to tell you about so get ready for that.
My parents leave for Florida tomorrow. I can set up my Wii and Wii Fit (Christmas gift, hooray!) in the basement on our gigantor TV and try it out, and get back to the gym now that Operation No Exercise To Spite Mother (biggest eye roll in the history of eye rolls) is over.
*I don't 100 % believe this** but I'm trying out the "Fake It Til You Make It" approach and seeing how it works for me.
**OHHHH THE LACK OF SELF-WORTH, you are rich.
[Edit: I rearranged the stuff on the side, I need to see those monthly goals at the top to remind myself of what is going on! I got lucky in maintaining these two weeks and I cleared January's goal, so I need to start thinking about heading in a southerly direction in the scale to keep up with my targets!]
28 December 2009
Here I go again...
Oh, hi there. *sheepish look*.
Uh, how’s everybody doin’?
I’m…okay. I’ve been eating pretty darn poorly this past week – lots of chocolate and candy from my stocking, Christmas cookies, ice cream, Diet Coke, and bagels for breakfast, and lunch, and dinner. There was literally one day last week when I had a bagel at EVERY MEAL. I felt…gross.
My mom and I are fine. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in that one. I love her to pieces and I know she’s my biggest fan, she just seems to have a weird way of showing it? I don’t know.
But things are fine and we had a nice Christmas. I got money for new running shoes, so I’m probably going to go to a store like Pacers or Footsteps to get their opinions. Can I tell you, though – I am scared to go in there, and I’ll tell you why. (you can probably guess why) My size. I have this image that all people that go in there are runners, therefore zero-percent-body-fat kind of people. And also, if they have to watch you run to figure out if you over-pronate or whatever – oh man, I am terrified by not only the clerks watching me, but anyone else in the store!? EEPS.
That’s the number one reason why I haven’t gone to one of those stores yet. Or hell, even if they don’t judge me because most of the time I’m projecting and it’s my own judgment and not theirs, I’m going to compare myself like you wouldn’t believe anyway! Ugh. What a neurotic sentence that was.
Well, I’ll just have to give myself the pep talk of all pep talks at some point and just cowboy up and go in there. Because I want pretty new running shoes.
For that matter, I want to be running again. I haven’t been to the gym in two weeks. I haven’t done any kind of physical activity. I feel kind of sluggish. I noticed the other day that I felt a little more out of breath after running up all of my townhouse stairs. That scared/saddened me a little bit. My weight isn’t up that much (this has to be a gigantic Christmas present from the Universe) so it’s just fitness related.
***
Okay, I guess we’ll go ahead and get to it – my weight this morning, which marks the last week in December but also the end of the Challenge! Ha, YES, I was still technically participating!
Somehow, miraculously, I am at 218.8 this morning. It’s only a .4 gain from last week. If you saw what I ate this week, you’d be surprised too!
And I did my measurements – I’m unsure about their accuracy because I can’t remember the exact spots I measured last time, so…oh well!
Arm 12 (13 at the beginning of the challenge – 1 inch down!)
Waist 45 (47 at the beginning of the challenge – 2 inches down!)
Bust 44 (50 at the beginning of the challenge – 6 inches down! Bless the Lord and my inaccurate measuring!)
Leg 26 (26.5 at the beginning of the challenge - .5 inches down!)
Hips 50 (52 at the beginning of the challenge – 2 inches down!)
Well, that makes me feel pretty good, even considering they might not be entirely accurate. 11.5 inches total? I like it.
***
On to the future.
I want and need to start doing better. I don’t want to weigh any higher than I do right now, I don’t deserve to. I was looking at my own blog the other day, and realized, UH, it’s called 100in12 not for cuteness purposes, but for, you know, goal purposes. I still have that ultimate goal I’m working for.
As of right now, I’m still okay as far as those monthly goals I’ve set, and I want it to stay that way.
I want to blog more again. I miss being participatory in your lives, and my own life for that matter.
Uh, how’s everybody doin’?
I’m…okay. I’ve been eating pretty darn poorly this past week – lots of chocolate and candy from my stocking, Christmas cookies, ice cream, Diet Coke, and bagels for breakfast, and lunch, and dinner. There was literally one day last week when I had a bagel at EVERY MEAL. I felt…gross.
My mom and I are fine. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in that one. I love her to pieces and I know she’s my biggest fan, she just seems to have a weird way of showing it? I don’t know.
But things are fine and we had a nice Christmas. I got money for new running shoes, so I’m probably going to go to a store like Pacers or Footsteps to get their opinions. Can I tell you, though – I am scared to go in there, and I’ll tell you why. (you can probably guess why) My size. I have this image that all people that go in there are runners, therefore zero-percent-body-fat kind of people. And also, if they have to watch you run to figure out if you over-pronate or whatever – oh man, I am terrified by not only the clerks watching me, but anyone else in the store!? EEPS.
That’s the number one reason why I haven’t gone to one of those stores yet. Or hell, even if they don’t judge me because most of the time I’m projecting and it’s my own judgment and not theirs, I’m going to compare myself like you wouldn’t believe anyway! Ugh. What a neurotic sentence that was.
Well, I’ll just have to give myself the pep talk of all pep talks at some point and just cowboy up and go in there. Because I want pretty new running shoes.
For that matter, I want to be running again. I haven’t been to the gym in two weeks. I haven’t done any kind of physical activity. I feel kind of sluggish. I noticed the other day that I felt a little more out of breath after running up all of my townhouse stairs. That scared/saddened me a little bit. My weight isn’t up that much (this has to be a gigantic Christmas present from the Universe) so it’s just fitness related.
***
Okay, I guess we’ll go ahead and get to it – my weight this morning, which marks the last week in December but also the end of the Challenge! Ha, YES, I was still technically participating!
Somehow, miraculously, I am at 218.8 this morning. It’s only a .4 gain from last week. If you saw what I ate this week, you’d be surprised too!
And I did my measurements – I’m unsure about their accuracy because I can’t remember the exact spots I measured last time, so…oh well!
Arm 12 (13 at the beginning of the challenge – 1 inch down!)
Waist 45 (47 at the beginning of the challenge – 2 inches down!)
Bust 44 (50 at the beginning of the challenge – 6 inches down! Bless the Lord and my inaccurate measuring!)
Leg 26 (26.5 at the beginning of the challenge - .5 inches down!)
Hips 50 (52 at the beginning of the challenge – 2 inches down!)
Well, that makes me feel pretty good, even considering they might not be entirely accurate. 11.5 inches total? I like it.
***
On to the future.
I want and need to start doing better. I don’t want to weigh any higher than I do right now, I don’t deserve to. I was looking at my own blog the other day, and realized, UH, it’s called 100in12 not for cuteness purposes, but for, you know, goal purposes. I still have that ultimate goal I’m working for.
As of right now, I’m still okay as far as those monthly goals I’ve set, and I want it to stay that way.
I want to blog more again. I miss being participatory in your lives, and my own life for that matter.
21 December 2009
...so when are you going to Florida again?
This isn’t exactly how I wanted my first post back to go, but I have to just get this out.
First, though, the biggest thank-you for all of your comments on my meltdown, and for not running me right out of the internet with torches and pitchforks for all the moping and the big pity party I threw for myself. Thank you. I’m still not doing well, but I’m slowly coming back. I started drinking water again, took vitamins, and had a good breakfast and lunch today – and I’m giving myself credit for that.
The reason I’m writing this is because of the interesting conversation I just had with my mother. She comes into the living room where I’m sitting and after asking me what I had made in the kitchen (fries…I know but that’s another post) she starts in on asking me if I’m giving up, or how long I’m going to be doing this, something to that effect.
I…calmly erupted.
I told her – “Yes, I’m having a bad weekend. I’m well aware that I’m not eating well. But it’s not your place to tell me what to do or what not to do or how to react to my life – it’s my place. I know what I’m doing and just because I have a bad weekend doesn’t mean it’s all over. During the first time around there were plenty of months, weeks, and/or days when I wasn’t on track and I took a break. But you learn from it and it doesn’t mean it’s over."
She launched into (once again) how she’s afraid no one will hire me (TOO FUCKING SOON, MA) and how my general appearance matters. She also (later on towards the end of our “talk”) mentioned she noticed I “stopped going” to the gym.
Well fuck me. (and I didn't say this, but also in regard to the gym: it’s been a god damned week, lady. BACK OFF)
I told her – “I know this isn’t how you mean it, but part of that translates to me as you don’t accept me for who I am and, more specifically, what I look like. If there is one place in the world where I am allowed to make mistakes and be myself, it should be at home.”
If I start feeling like I can’t be myself, that’s the end of the damn line right there.
She kept on going too, but eventually I just told her if she wants to support me, she can do it by keeping her distance on this.
I hope I’m expressing myself in the right way here – it’s not like I’m thrilled that I’m doing this to myself, but I can see the forest for the trees. I know this isn’t the end. I am the same person I was a week ago that I am right now.
And the thing is, this time around, I’m trying to work with my flaws rather than against them. To be quite honest with you and myself, a lot of times when my mom tells me to do something that I know I need to do but don't really want to, it just makes me want to not do it that much more. The only-child-brat inside of me wants to do the exact opposite, even though the level headed young adult side knows she's right. And I'm working on that. But right now, at this moment, I need her to not say ANYTHING because otherwise it's just going to go badly. I'm not going to react like a mature adult that handles such criticism gracefully.
Yes, quite often I can’t handle criticism, and I am emotionally immature and often still feel (and sometimes act) like a 16 year old. I can’t change all this overnight AND lose weight AND change my life AND AND AND. If I try to tackle them all at once I’ll fail and give up or I’ll freeze from intimidation and never get anywhere. I know myself and I want this to work. There are so many goddamned things I don’t like about who and where I am in life, and I’m trying to work through them slowly and work with them with full awareness that I want to eventually change or eradicate them.
I know she meant it because she cares, but it’s my program, my journey (what am I, on a reality show?) and my mistakes and successes, not anyone else’s. I lay enough guilt on myself as it is, I don’t need any outside pressure. And there are a million other little reasons why her “concern” (her words) piss me off, just things on which you’ll have to trust me when I write all this.
Has anyone else been through anything similar? Do you have that person whose advice you just don’t want on certain topics?
(PS I did weigh myself and I'm at 218.4...so I'm back up. But it's not over. Even though I'm still royally pissed off. Serenity now?)
First, though, the biggest thank-you for all of your comments on my meltdown, and for not running me right out of the internet with torches and pitchforks for all the moping and the big pity party I threw for myself. Thank you. I’m still not doing well, but I’m slowly coming back. I started drinking water again, took vitamins, and had a good breakfast and lunch today – and I’m giving myself credit for that.
The reason I’m writing this is because of the interesting conversation I just had with my mother. She comes into the living room where I’m sitting and after asking me what I had made in the kitchen (fries…I know but that’s another post) she starts in on asking me if I’m giving up, or how long I’m going to be doing this, something to that effect.
I…calmly erupted.
I told her – “Yes, I’m having a bad weekend. I’m well aware that I’m not eating well. But it’s not your place to tell me what to do or what not to do or how to react to my life – it’s my place. I know what I’m doing and just because I have a bad weekend doesn’t mean it’s all over. During the first time around there were plenty of months, weeks, and/or days when I wasn’t on track and I took a break. But you learn from it and it doesn’t mean it’s over."
She launched into (once again) how she’s afraid no one will hire me (TOO FUCKING SOON, MA) and how my general appearance matters. She also (later on towards the end of our “talk”) mentioned she noticed I “stopped going” to the gym.
Well fuck me. (and I didn't say this, but also in regard to the gym: it’s been a god damned week, lady. BACK OFF)
I told her – “I know this isn’t how you mean it, but part of that translates to me as you don’t accept me for who I am and, more specifically, what I look like. If there is one place in the world where I am allowed to make mistakes and be myself, it should be at home.”
If I start feeling like I can’t be myself, that’s the end of the damn line right there.
She kept on going too, but eventually I just told her if she wants to support me, she can do it by keeping her distance on this.
I hope I’m expressing myself in the right way here – it’s not like I’m thrilled that I’m doing this to myself, but I can see the forest for the trees. I know this isn’t the end. I am the same person I was a week ago that I am right now.
And the thing is, this time around, I’m trying to work with my flaws rather than against them. To be quite honest with you and myself, a lot of times when my mom tells me to do something that I know I need to do but don't really want to, it just makes me want to not do it that much more. The only-child-brat inside of me wants to do the exact opposite, even though the level headed young adult side knows she's right. And I'm working on that. But right now, at this moment, I need her to not say ANYTHING because otherwise it's just going to go badly. I'm not going to react like a mature adult that handles such criticism gracefully.
Yes, quite often I can’t handle criticism, and I am emotionally immature and often still feel (and sometimes act) like a 16 year old. I can’t change all this overnight AND lose weight AND change my life AND AND AND. If I try to tackle them all at once I’ll fail and give up or I’ll freeze from intimidation and never get anywhere. I know myself and I want this to work. There are so many goddamned things I don’t like about who and where I am in life, and I’m trying to work through them slowly and work with them with full awareness that I want to eventually change or eradicate them.
I know she meant it because she cares, but it’s my program, my journey (what am I, on a reality show?) and my mistakes and successes, not anyone else’s. I lay enough guilt on myself as it is, I don’t need any outside pressure. And there are a million other little reasons why her “concern” (her words) piss me off, just things on which you’ll have to trust me when I write all this.
Has anyone else been through anything similar? Do you have that person whose advice you just don’t want on certain topics?
(PS I did weigh myself and I'm at 218.4...so I'm back up. But it's not over. Even though I'm still royally pissed off. Serenity now?)
16 December 2009
Oh, hi there.
I didn't post last night, that's obvious, no? I kinda, just, didn't feel like it. I turned my computer off early in the evening and wanted to step away from it a little bit. It didn't help that I didn't eat in a timely fashion yesterday and I wasn't looking forward to posting AGAIN about how I missed a meal because I'm a poor planner and got all crazy and distracted yada yada. I just get worried that you all out there in blogland are going to start thinking I have an actual problem of some kind - other than just being scatterbrained, mind you. I suppose I should also not care what other people think...but that's a completely different discussion/blog/world isn't it?
Okay, so let's just get down to business then!
I'lll start with our regularly scheduled progamming, Challenge Wednesdays!
...even though it's total BS. I call BS on the scale.
Do you know what it said?
I'll tell you.
217.
Between Monday and now I seem to have gained like 3 pounds. Impossible. I believe the culprit to be water - both in that I didn't have enough of it on Tuesday, but also because I drank some this morning without thinking as I got up before I got on the scale. And That Biological Event of a Woman That Shall Not Be Named is coming up real soon. Gross.
The reasons for the scale number could be all of these or none of these, I don't know. Regardless I'm totally not buying this number at all, so no worries.
On to goal-tracking!
Last week's goals were:
*Keep tracking and drinking water! Check!
*Vitamins.every.day. Check!
*Do the Shred DVD at least once FAIL.
*Eat a fruit or a vegetable at every meal. Things like V8 or some soups count – but I don’t want to rely on them. So close! I'm gonna give myself a Half-Check on this one.
*Don’t look at the scale until Monday. Check!
I got most of 'em!
Goals for next week:
*Keep tracking and drinking water
*Vitamins every day
*Eat a fruit or a vegetable at every meal (V8 counts but I try not to rely on it)
*Go to the gym at least twice
Okay and now, finally, the meals from yesterday.
I had a second/final interview yesterday and I had to start getting ready around noon, and I didn’t get home until 5pm – hence the sporadic meals. They were nutritious and included veggies, though!
Vitamins – Check!
Water – Only 36oz. For shaaaame
Breakfast:
*egg sandwich: egg subst., mushrooms, 2 thin slices avocado, ketchup
*can of V8
Snack:
*half a cup of cottage cheese
Dinner:
*individual meatloaf (I ate about half, which is still a pretty big portion, well over 5oz)
*steamed broccoli
*glass of milk
Dessert:
*skinny cow ice cream cone
Okay, so let's just get down to business then!
I'lll start with our regularly scheduled progamming, Challenge Wednesdays!
...even though it's total BS. I call BS on the scale.
Do you know what it said?
I'll tell you.
217.
Between Monday and now I seem to have gained like 3 pounds. Impossible. I believe the culprit to be water - both in that I didn't have enough of it on Tuesday, but also because I drank some this morning without thinking as I got up before I got on the scale. And That Biological Event of a Woman That Shall Not Be Named is coming up real soon. Gross.
The reasons for the scale number could be all of these or none of these, I don't know. Regardless I'm totally not buying this number at all, so no worries.
On to goal-tracking!
Last week's goals were:
*Keep tracking and drinking water! Check!
*Vitamins.every.day. Check!
*Do the Shred DVD at least once FAIL.
*Eat a fruit or a vegetable at every meal. Things like V8 or some soups count – but I don’t want to rely on them. So close! I'm gonna give myself a Half-Check on this one.
*Don’t look at the scale until Monday. Check!
I got most of 'em!
Goals for next week:
*Keep tracking and drinking water
*Vitamins every day
*Eat a fruit or a vegetable at every meal (V8 counts but I try not to rely on it)
*Go to the gym at least twice
Okay and now, finally, the meals from yesterday.
I had a second/final interview yesterday and I had to start getting ready around noon, and I didn’t get home until 5pm – hence the sporadic meals. They were nutritious and included veggies, though!
Vitamins – Check!
Water – Only 36oz. For shaaaame
Breakfast:
*egg sandwich: egg subst., mushrooms, 2 thin slices avocado, ketchup
*can of V8
Snack:
*half a cup of cottage cheese
Dinner:
*individual meatloaf (I ate about half, which is still a pretty big portion, well over 5oz)
*steamed broccoli
*glass of milk
Dessert:
*skinny cow ice cream cone
14 December 2009
All The Weigh Down
(Today's post title brought to you by Glen Hansard - this song is from the Once soundtrack. Such a good album. I listen to Say It To Me Now over and over and over again)
I’m not sure how to feel about today’s weigh-in. I mean, let me be clear: it’s good – no – great! But I only exercised twice last week – Monday and Wednesday. So I can only assume my deficit was obtained by eating less.
I guess my loss this week doesn’t feel as earned as it has in previous weeks. I want exercise to be a part of this weight loss too, so when I take it out…it feels like I’m not doing things right.
So this week didn’t incorporate everything that I wanted it to, but it was more about healthy eating than controlling calories, because I don’t count calories. So it’s still a good thing, especially with my fruit/vegetable goal. I think that helped. And just in general, I want my eating to be about focusing on the right choices, making nutritional choices, not just eating less or limiting my calories. I don’t want to rely on diet foods. Though there are exceptions, like those 100 calorie popcorn bags. Delicious! Even though I read an article recently that microwave popcorn is one of several foods that “food experts” stay away from because of the chemicals that can come from the bag during the heating process. Mmmmm, chemicals (/Homer Simpson)
Well I’ve kept you here long enough, haven’t I? If I was a reality show I’d go to commercial right now and really get you riled up. And then you’d vote me off the island or I wouldn’t be America’s favorite dancer or I wouldn’t still be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top HEY LOOK IT’S TYRA! That’s what I call the show because Tyra Banks is the most egomaniacal person in our solar system.
Okay! So here it is:
214.8
That’s a 3.2 loss from last week. Seems a little high for no exercise, and it actually makes me think I didn’t eat enough. But I ate healthy for the most part. And a loss is a loss so I’m happy about that.
It’s a new week and another opportunity!
(45.2 total pounds down!)
I’m not sure how to feel about today’s weigh-in. I mean, let me be clear: it’s good – no – great! But I only exercised twice last week – Monday and Wednesday. So I can only assume my deficit was obtained by eating less.
I guess my loss this week doesn’t feel as earned as it has in previous weeks. I want exercise to be a part of this weight loss too, so when I take it out…it feels like I’m not doing things right.
So this week didn’t incorporate everything that I wanted it to, but it was more about healthy eating than controlling calories, because I don’t count calories. So it’s still a good thing, especially with my fruit/vegetable goal. I think that helped. And just in general, I want my eating to be about focusing on the right choices, making nutritional choices, not just eating less or limiting my calories. I don’t want to rely on diet foods. Though there are exceptions, like those 100 calorie popcorn bags. Delicious! Even though I read an article recently that microwave popcorn is one of several foods that “food experts” stay away from because of the chemicals that can come from the bag during the heating process. Mmmmm, chemicals (/Homer Simpson)
Well I’ve kept you here long enough, haven’t I? If I was a reality show I’d go to commercial right now and really get you riled up. And then you’d vote me off the island or I wouldn’t be America’s favorite dancer or I wouldn’t still be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top HEY LOOK IT’S TYRA! That’s what I call the show because Tyra Banks is the most egomaniacal person in our solar system.
Okay! So here it is:
214.8
That’s a 3.2 loss from last week. Seems a little high for no exercise, and it actually makes me think I didn’t eat enough. But I ate healthy for the most part. And a loss is a loss so I’m happy about that.
It’s a new week and another opportunity!
(45.2 total pounds down!)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
