healthy and happy. one of these days.

19 September 2009

Food Vibrations


*1 Arnold’s Sandwich Thins
*1-2 tbsp Philly Cream Cheese, 1/3 less fat kind
*4 strawberries, thinly sliced
*1/2 a cup cottage cheese

Toast thins, spread cream cheese, add strawberries! So delish.


*Whole wheat, honey and rosemary pizza dough (individual size)
*1/2 a breast chicken, shredded
*two handfuls of baby spinach, cooked down
*2 or 3 tbsp of roasted red pepper sauce

You can guess what I made today! I used this same dough recipe, but I added rosemary this time. It is SO GOOD. I cooked down the spinach before hand, and then spread a little sauce, spinach, and then the chicken and cooked for about 7 minutes at 350, after the dough had baked for about 10 minutes at the same temp.

I made the dough and quartered it, and froze 3 of the 4 mini balls of dough. Each one is still more than one serving, but given that the dough is pretty low calorie, three servings is okay. I think it sounds bigger than it really is, but what do I know. I think three servings of the dough comes out to be 249 calories, so I’m not sweating it.

I’m excited to have three other portions left! Who knows what kind of things I might make. I might just bake it and cut it and half and use it as a flat bread sandwich, or maybe use it for breakfast and put eggs over it, but I’m excited to try things!


*Sugar snap peas with tzatziki sauce for dipping.
*Can of V8

I ate this during the VT football game today. I probably wouldn’t even have had dinner because I was still kind of full from the snack and the crazy emotions from the game. As I’ve mentioned, I am a VT alum. And I love football. We played Nebraska today, and were down 15-10 with two minutes left in the game. And we came back to win 16-15. It was INSANE. In two minutes I went from being so upset and distraught, to sitting on the edge of my seat with a huge knot in my stomach, to jumping up and down screaming with adrenaline rushing through my body. And I wasn’t even AT the game. Man was it amazing. Food was the last thing on my mind. But I didn’t want to go without anything so I made myself a lil somethin’.


*Tilapia and roasted red pepper sauce
*1/2 a cup of cottage cheese

Good day.

Listening to: Party in the USA, Miley Cyrus. (Damn it I can't help it. Dumb title, catchy song.)

Thanks, Eminem.

I was at the gym today (GASP! On Saturday, you say?! I know, I know. I can't believe it either. I'm claiming temporary insanity.) and was doing my thing on the elliptical. My original plan was to get into the cardiovascular section, which means going for 32 minutes. As I was about halfway through the 31st minute, my workout playlist changed to 'Til I Collapse, by Eminem.

No matter what workout I'm doing, time of day, gym equipment, whatever, this song motivates the lead out of me. Lead, shit, crap, lethargy, all of the above! This happens every time. How can you just stop your workout when Eminem tells you:

"Cause sometimes you just feel tired.
You feel weak and when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse."

So I kept going until I hit 40 minutes! I mean, the song is only what, four minutes long? - but I had the motivation from the song to keep me going! YAH!

And now that means I worked out four days this week - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I always aim for four days. Any more is the sugar free icing on the angel food cake.

And now this, for no reason at all:

Just because.

One of my favorite songs is Come Downstairs and Say Hello, by Guster. It starts off slow and dreamy and light, and gradually builds a beat and it drives and drives and finishes fast and upbeat and happy. And the lyrics are to die for, for anyone looking for motivation or to have their thoughts laid out in a song.

I started listening to Guster my freshman year of college, and this was one of those songs, and it wasn't until my junior year of college that I actually took notice of the lyrics and what they meant. From then on Come Downstairs and Say Hello has been my anthem for everything. And actually, I do hide in my room pretty much every day so it fits in a literal sense as well.

Dorothy moves to click her ruby shoes
Right in tune with dark side of the moon
Someone, someone could tell me
Where I belong
Be calm, be brave, it'll be okay

No more messing around and living underground
And new year's resolutions
By this time next year I won't be here

I turn on MTV, the volume's down
Lips move, they say
It'll be okay

To tell you the truth, I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
One last time these words from me
I'm never saying them again

and I shut the light
and listen as my watch unwinds

To tell you the truth, I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
I know I've been half-asleep
I'm never doing that again

I look straight at what's coming ahead
and soon its going to change in a new direction
Every night as I'm falling asleep
These words repeating in my head

Voices calling from a yellow road
To come downstairs and say hello
Don't be shy, just say hello

To tell you the truth, I've said it before
Tomorrow I start in a new direction
I know I've been half-asleep
I'm never doing that again

I look straight at what's coming ahead
and soon its going to change in a new direction
Every night as I'm falling asleep
These words repeated in my head

18 September 2009


I forgot to mention a couple of things.

To add to breakfast: I had a cup of black coffee this morning. Not exactly a huge oversight, but, ya know, I'm putting it all up here!

Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but I just remembered it after blog-reading, many of which mention The Biggest Loser:

I applied to be on that show. Hah. It must have been in 2006 sometime. I filled out the application, waiting until the last second to fill out the contact information for the references or friends or whatever - that was my least favorite part. I didn't tell the people I chose that I listed them and their contact information, I think I was too ashamed. And I made a little video of myself and put it on a DVD and shipped it off, terrified. It was one of those situations where you desperately claw at the mailbox opening after you put it in, trying to take it back. I didn't actually do that, but I thought about it.

Of course, nothing happened with it.

In the end I'm glad it didn't get anywhere. I am meant to do this on my own. And not have to wear a sports bra and spandex shorts AND weigh myself in front of an entire nation...

Which Came First...

Today was okay. I went into my temp job this morning only to find out that due to various developments, they didn’t really have any substantial work for me to do. Before I left at noon I was perusing, and came across this article about why we eat too much and how to control it. I’ve (as I’m sure all of us who are trying to lose weight have) heard it before, but it had the added bonus of SCIENCE!

(It’s funny that Hadley (over here) had a science-related post today too – I love when motivational articles or posts have actual science and/or biological facts to back them up. They appeal to both the cheesy and the geeky sides of me. With their powers combined, they have me hook line and sinker.)

Anyway, in the article, the first two reasons for overeating are a lack of sleep and high stress levels. Who didn’t get enough sleep last night?? Ooh!! OOHH! ME! PICK ME! I didn’t! And what about stress? Every day my mom becomes more and more frantic about my family getting here (she doesn’t admit it but I know she wants to impress them too…where do you think I get it from?) and it’s rubbing off on me and my already precariously high levels of anxiety surrounding this trip and the state of my life. If stress levels were the Oscars, I’d be Katharine Hepburn.


I had packed my gym stuff and brought it with me to work, but since I was off at noon I went home and ate lunch first. It really was a sincere move – I wanted to have some sustenance in me before I worked out. And I still ate the healthy lunch I had packed for myself. But then I just didn’t go to the gym. I was tired, and home, and to put it plainly: lazy.

And then, I wanted to just EAT. My dad was making himself a cheeseburger and I just…I didn’t want the cheeseburger necessarily, but I just wanted to eat a LOT of whatever I wanted. I just wanted to consume.

Thankfully I didn’t, and I controlled myself, but the feelings were there. I went to Target later (my other splurging problem area) and only got the thing I went for – NERD ALERT – Breathe Right Strips. But at one point I had sunglasses and a DVD in my hands, but I put them back in an equally sad and empowering moment. Heh. Though I may consider aviator glasses and the 4th season of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia essential life items, I really know better.


So I don’t know if that article helped or harmed me. And it doesn't even confine itself to food either, but things, glorious things! Target is King of Things. Oh what? My point? It is...would I have reacted like I did with the desire to consume had I not read about natural responses to emotions I’m experiencing? Did it essentially provide me with How To Guide? Or because I read the article, was I able to understand that my actions were a result of being overtired and stressed, so I knew better than to give in? Chew on THAT, Socrates.

So no gym today. I’m not happy about it, and I don’t have a good excuse. I could have, I should have. But at least I kept my eating healthy and in check:


*Arnold’s sandwich thins, toasted w/ a tbsp peanut butter
*Strawberries (maybe 10 of them?)


*Carrots and sugar snap peas with sabra individual hummus packet
*Arnold’s sandwich thin and between 1 and 2 tbsps peanut butter


*Glass of milk
*About 2/3 of a cup of toasted garbanzo beans (chick peas!)


*Steamed broccoli, chicken, roasted red pepper sauce.

I took from the jar of roasted red peppers for the sauce this time. I didn’t feel like doing the whole roasting thing. I put about one and a half peppers into the food processor, along with two Laughing Cow Light cheese wedges, and a sprinkling of garlic powder and Italian seasoning. I really like it! The LCL cheese blended and incorporated nicely (for once in its life!) and makes the sauce taste creamier and more sinful than it really is. After that I just threw the broccoli, chicken (half a breast, in chunks, cooked in just pam in a skillet) and sauce into a deliciously delicious bowl.

And I have so much leftover sauce it’s redonkulous. Gonna have to get creative this week.

17 September 2009

I'm not together but I'm getting there

Busy day today! I scored a little temping action, just for today and tomorrow. So I was off and running reeeeal early this morning. The office was okay. I was sitting all day, staring at an Excel spreadsheet. Except when things got REAL CRAZY and I started using the copier! Basically I was sitting all day. Good thing when I left this morning I was also armed with my gym stuff!

Yay me! I planned ahead and actually did it. Because I wouldn’t put it past me to bring my stuff and go through the trouble of getting it ready, taking it with me, and then go straight home anyway. But not this time! Nope, I went right to the gym from “work”. I did 40 minutes on the treadmill. Either 8 or 10 of it was jogging. Haha, I can’t remember how many intervals I did. I like how I can’t remember what I did four hours ago. Maybe instead of fishoil caplets I should take ginko biloba.


*Egg subst. with salsa (I think I’m starting to get over my addiction to this)
*Half a cup of cottage cheese


*Carrots, sugar snap peas and an individual Sabra hummus thing
*Sandwich: arnold’s sandwich thins, cucumber, laughing cow light cheese wedge, baby spinach.

I actually ended up eating only half the sandwich at the time, and saved the other half for the drive home. I wanted to get a little something in me before I went to the gym.

Dinner: (as inspired by janetha b’s meals and moves! She always eats this so I wanted to try it)

*Mix of garbanzo beans, chicken, cottage cheese and a little sprinkling of ranch mix.

It was pretty good! And filling, definitely.

(There is only a week and a half before my family – that family – gets here. Mehhhhh I’m already nervous. Even though I’m doing great and sticking to it and whatever else, I just…egghhhhh. Do you just have that person/people in your life that even though you know you shouldn’t let them, they just push your buttons or make you feel bad about yourself? Sweet sassy molassy, I am gonna need some validation that week. HA!)

Listening to: John Mayer's Continuum album. You ever rediscover an album? I've had it since it came out and listened to it a million times, and have even been lucky enough to see some of it performed live by the man himself. But I'm sitting here listening to it in its entirety, and...*siighhhh*. Me likey. No it won't all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good

16 September 2009

Are you going to live your life?

I am proud of myself today. Well, my emotions in the order they happened were: tired, excited, shameful, motivated, then proud. And then proud again! All before noon. I’m a busy gal, you see.

I was tired when I woke up. Then I was excited because I came across a job posting for an organization that I LOVE and really want to work for – and I have a history with them so I roped in everyone I knew to put in a good word for me, as I sent in my application materials. I hope it worked! Then I was shameful because I spent the time working on my applications and emailing everyone I knew from grad school about the job (for help), and I missed my window that morning to go to the gym. But! Instead I did the 30 Day Shred DVD again. I still was pretty bad at it, but I didn’t outright quit this time. I made it to the end! So I was proud of myself for still doing something this morning.

The reason I wanted to get this all in the morning is that I made plans to spend the day with my friend and her incredibly adorable 11 month old twins. We had been planning a “bad movie day” for a really long time. Also, she and I have been friends since we were in elementary school and we have always been bigger than our friends. She is WAY smaller than me, but like many women of any size, still isn’t comfortable in her own body. Having twins aided in this as well. We often discuss (more like complain about) food and exercise and all that. So, three weeks ago before I started getting healthy, we had planned on junk food and all that. But I said NO!

I drank a V8 in the car on the way over. I suppose that would be counted as breakfast? Anyway, before I left I armed myself with fat free popcorn, sugar snap peas and carrots, tzatziki sauce and a couple of those individual Sabra hummus packs. So that’s what we snacked on! It was great and I was proud of myself for taking the lead on it.

For lunch I had a tuna melt. From what I could tell it was a piece of white bread, a piece of American cheese, and tuna and mayo I think? So it wasn’t devastatingly bad by any means, but it was the first meal that I hadn’t prepared myself in a while. It was fine though. And tasty!

After I came home I snacked on some strawberries.

And finally for dinner I had:

*A cup of cottage cheese (this is, and has always been low fat btw)
*egg scramble (egg subst., red pepper, green pepper, onion, and spinach)

Nothing exciting.

In other news, I just started reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It’s a nonfiction book about the year of her and her family’s life that they moved to rural Appalachia with the goal of eating and producing their own food – animals and vegetables. It starts off with more of a Fast Food Nation vibe, talking about American tendencies towards gluttony, obesity, and processed foods and a severe lack of knowledge about where out food comes from. I have to say I’m guilty of all of these! Though I’m trying to let go of processed foods.

I’m really hoping this book will inspire me to try unfamiliar vegetables, or at least those that I would normally glance over. And/or just make me think more about my relationship with clean, healthy food and how I can get more if it in my life! Yay!

Listening to: Praise Chorus - Jimmy Eat World (the post title is a lyric from this song - listen to it, it's good in a motivational kind of way!)

15 September 2009

I have to get this in writing.

I am sitting here reading, and all of a sudden I think to myself "I can't wait to get back to the gym tomorrow."

HAHA! How crazy is that??!

[Edit: I think the reason for this is that I had a crummy day and I was a little angry and embarrassed with the interview, and then I kind of regret writing the post about it because, I dunno it seems a little bratty to complain about something that was my fault. And so all this, and I think exercise would make me feel better. And THEN I realized my pavlovian conditioning is working! To The Gym! Tomorrow morning!]

Heey foooood, dont make it baaad, take a sad soooong and make it bettterrrrrr

(Yes, I crack myself up with these post titles sometimes. I am such a nerd!)

After the interview of shame, I went with my family today to Costco. I wanted to go specifically so I could get some fruits and veggies and things. I came away with strawberries, blueberries, baby spinach, individual Sabra hummus snack dealies, more Laughing Cow Light, Arnold’s Sandwich Thins, new exercise socks, tuna, V8, and a jar of roasted red peppers for when I’m too lazy to do roast them myself, which is 90% of the time. So some new stuff, some familiar stuff – a good mix, I’d say.

On to the eats!


Cup of black coffee
Curves strawberries&cream bar
Rest of my tuna from yesterday


Handful of carrots
Handful of sugar snap peas
Individual sabra hummus packet (my new boyfriend)
Sandwich: chunk chicken, laughing cow cheese wedge, roasted red pepper and Arnold sandwich thins


Glass of milk
The same “creation” I had yesterday, but with chicken instead of tuna.

My food today was pretty boring. I was busy and tired and didn’t feel like being creative in the kitchen. I think I still ate healthfully, but it wasn’t my favorite kind of exciting, colorful, fresh, home-cooked healthy.

No exercise today. Though I probably should have given how upset and fired up I was after today’s interview debacle. I am still sore from Sunday and yesterday’s exercise anyway. My legs are killing me, and I didn’t notice it until today, but so are my abs! From the three whole minutes from Jillian on Sunday. Redonkulous. Also, thank you to 266 and Tina for the positive exercise compliments! I always feel like I’m not doing enough when I read other weight loss blogs. Though, I try not to compare myself to anyone. It’s hard finding a balance between pushing yourself and not holding unachievable standards. Dilemma!

Listening to: Say It Ain't So - Weezer

If you heard faint and faraway screaming today, that was me.

I had a second-round interview today. The first one was last Thursday, and it went well and on Friday they asked me to come in today. So I did.

I did a dry run to the place yesterday (even during the same time that I had to leave/go today) and it took an hour and fifteen minutes, and that was with a bit of traffic. So today I left two hours early. I'm usually the person that shows up early to everything. I absolutely hate being late.

Um, I was still late to the interview this morning, because there were two accidents on the highway by my house. GGRRR! I planned for extra traffic and it STILL wasn’t enough. I called five minutes before the time I was scheduled to arrive and told them I would be a little bit late. I felt like such a jackass. I ended up getting there about 10-15 minutes late. My parents said that it was probably a sign I wouldn’t really want that job because of the commute, but, they don’t know how desperately I want a full time job!

I apologized profusely and explained what happened, but I think it was lost by then. The fact that I live so far away was already an issue to them (though I did discuss relocation) and to be late sealed the deal. So then basically the whole interview centered on how I wasn’t from where this town is, and how the commute would be bad, and it was all focused on geographical issues and not my experience or qualifications. I get it. I was late. (because there were accidents – you can’t plan for those even though I tried with leaving an extra 45 minutes for myself) The commute is long. Would you rather have a local idiot do the job?

The other weird thing was in the interview, the interviewer discussed extensively, completely unprovoked, how there wasn’t any “nightlife” or stuff for young, single people to do in the town where the job is located. She literally told me there were no clubs in the town. -- Can you hear the steam coming out of my ears from where you are?? -- Seriously…what does that have to do with working there?! I know I don’t have a wedding ring on (and I am young and single) but…I was kind of offended! Please don’t make judgments about my life outside of the office. And I hate clubs!

I guess my tardiness brought on a world of other assumptions for this woman, but I think that crossed the line. UGH I’m still so mad about it! And I am really mad at myself for being late. It is so embarrassing and unprofessional. I am never ever late to things. But how can you say that to a prospective employer, when it's kind of a "yeah, yeah, that's what they all say" situation?

Seriously, for my next job interview, I’m wearing a ring on my left ring finger. And leaving the night before to get there.

14 September 2009

Eat. Go.


*Half a slim-fast can (it was disgusting so I only drank half – I was in the car which is the only reason I was drinking it in the first place)

Ugh, it wasn’t until maybe six or seven hours later that I finally felt better from drinking this. I used to like them, I don’t know whats what.


*The rest of my veggie sauté from yesterday, eaten cold and still as delicious
*Half a tuna sandwich*
*Can of V8

For the tuna, I mixed in 2 tbsp of hellman’s light mayo. Baaaarely gives a coating. I cut a piece of whole wheat/grain (I have no idea which and I’m too lazy to go back downstairs to check) bread in half, after spreading a Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge. So, cheese wedge, tuna, bread. Very simple and tasty.

Dinner: (weird but delicious)

*Random tuna surprise?
*Sugar snap peas and tzatziki sauce
*Glass of milk

I took two Laughing Cow Light wedges, did my best to melt them (WHY don’t they melt!? This bothers me greatly) and mixed in some of my red pepper sauce (it’s still goin’!). Then for reasons unbeknownst to me, I added in some more of the tuna I made earlier. Just on a whim. It actually tastes really good. Like a red pepper tuna melt or something, but no bread, and, you know, healthy.

I then realized I didn’t have enough vegetables today, so I’ve got some raw sugar snap peas and tzatziki sauce going. Is good.

And now on to my exercise for the day…

(Hey! It’s like meals and moves! B T Dubs, how cute is she!? I love her. And I don’t know her. Um, creepy? Whatever it’s the internet.) (Moving on.)

I wore myself OUT today. First I went to the gym, got on the treadmill for 25 minutes. It went as follows: walk 5m, jog 5m20s, walk 3m40s, jog 1m45s, walk 3m15s, jog 1m, and finally walk 5m. I was really happy with that because I hadn’t really planned on jogging again after the first 5, but I managed to push myself just a little bit each time. The second jog was a little faster than the first, and the last was the fastest. Anyway I was happy with that today.

Then I did three weight machines. Nothing special to report there. I would have done more but I was anxious to go to my next destination...

Then I went swimming! Hooray!!! I only swam for 20, but they were a rough 20! It’s been a looong time since I’ve been in a pool. It felt so good though, I love swimming. Ha, I did want to quit after 10 minutes. But I made myself do 10 more. I have all the time in the world to work up to whatever endurance I want, it doesn’t all have to be now.

Also, I was emailing with a friend of mine who sadly lives one billion (/dr. evil) miles away from me, and we were discussing Jillian’s 30 Day Shred. So now we are long distance workout buddies. Heh. We ‘internet shook’ on doing it once a week. Love it. Except for when I have to do that DVD.

It's in the weigh

I am off and running (not literally, not yet!) today, or at least for the first half of today, but I wanted to get the Monday :-P


I figured it would be good since I exercised and made good choices and I'm happy I was right, because there are always the weeks where the scale betrays you despite hard work. So this is a great way to start a day!

I'm just trying to hang on to this as long as I can. I start to worry (because, do you know me?) about when the other (badly worn gym workout) shoe is going to drop and I'll become lazy and unmotivated and want to wash down a cheeseburger made with two pizzas as the buns and Little Debbie condiments.

But! I try not to. I know it isn't doing anybody any good and so I just focus on what I'm doing right at that moment.

Like right now! Off to do things. (Yes, 'do things'. My English knows no bounds)

13 September 2009

I'm still too wiped after the dvd to think of something clever for a title about the food I ate today. Apologies.

Breakfast/Lunch: (because I ate it at 11.)

1/2 cup egg subst. with 1/2 a tilapia filet, flaked, topped with salsa
And 2 grapes while my eggs were cooking :)

Snack: 94% fat free kettle corn


Glass of milk
Half a banana
Veggie sauté
Half a tilapia filet

The veggie sauté was: onions, red cabbage, and asparagus, and I tossed in a sprinkling of olive oil and two tablespoons of black bean sauce. So good.

The Pros and Cons of Breathing

Con: I woke up feeling like it was going to be a no-exercise day.

Pro: I decided this was total nonsense so I went out and bought Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred.

Con: I quit 4 minutes into Level One. – halfway through the first minute of the first cardio set.

Pro: I went back to it about 2 hours later.

Con: I was probably still doing one third the intensity of the Beginner adaptation.

Pro: I finished Level One. And I have nowhere to go but up.

I Am THE Walrus, not I Am A Walrus.

HOO-BOY, it is late! I’m just now getting home from an evening-o-fun. But first, foods. Didn't exercise (unless you count a few flights of stairs when I had the option of an elevator!) so I wanted to go pretty easy on food. Only had one real meal today, otherwise I just grazed/ate every couple of hours.

Cup of Coffee
Handful of grapes + V8
1 tbsp peanut butter
Laughing Cow Light cheese wedge

Dinner was:

The rest of my grilled chicken w/homemade red pepper sauce

After dinner I went over to a friend’s apartment to watch the USC/Ohio State game AND to play his new Beatles’ Rock Band. Normally he and I would get dinner and drink soda and just relax, but I made sure to emphasize that I would be eating beforehand. He’s not a foodpusher or anything – this was actually more about my bank account status than it is about eating poor foods – but I wanted to make sure that I would be eating on my own terms.

I did bring some popcorn over there with me though. 94% fat free kettle corn. I heart it. And I also drank about eighty billion cups of water.

(Oh, speaking of eating well – to 100togo, thank you for your comments about the good foods I’m eating. I hope I can keep it up. I’m totally still in the honeymoon phase of this mission, and who knows how long it’ll last. But I’m gonna try not to think about it or anticipate it, self-fulfilling prophecies and all. I’m just gonna keep on keepin’ on!)

So now I’m exhausted and my eyes are killing me, because we played Beatles’ Rock Band for roughly four hours. We played the whole game. Fun, though! I shred on fake guitar.

(alternative post titles were: "I'm Looking Through You...At That Cheeseburger", "I've Just Stuffed A Face", and "A Lard Day's Night")


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