healthy and happy. one of these days.

07 January 2010

This is what low looks like, if you were wondering.

Tonight I ordered pizza and boneless wings from Dominos. I accidentally forgot to give them my credit card information, and the guy showed up needing cash.

The only cash I had was the money my parents gave me for Christmas for new running shoes.

I didn't spend all of it, but I used it.

I used some of that money for pizza.

Take a second and really think about that. Money for running shoes...used for fucking pizza.

I have done some shitty things in my life, trust me on that one. But I don't think I've ever felt as bad as I do right now. I feel like a degenerate drug addict.



Jenny S said...

Oh my! Such a funny but sad post, all at the same time. I'm sorry you are at a new low... you'll be fine!! You'll recover and get back on track! Think of how far you've come!

Ashley said...

One time during spring break, my grandma gave me and my sister and our two friends money to go to some educational aquarium, and instead we used it to buy tickets to a 50 Cent concert.

destined2Bskinny said...

same thing happened to me last week! may be even my grandfather gave me $100 to get my mom a gift certificate in cash..i had no cash when everyone ordered chinese in my room, so I used that. I felt HORRIBLEEE!!! But I didn't spend any money until I could pay it back. But don't feel bad we mess up sometimes and make stupid choices, especially concerning food. At least you can realize that and now you know to start working on not ordering out you can think of it as simply saving money. I am trying that now. When my friends go out to eat I just say, "sorry im broke". Then wa-la all of a sudden u still have the money for those shoes and you are a little bit thinner =)

good luck

Denise Burks said...

I totally get this post.


I am so impressed that you were able to write about it already. I have stuff that I did 35 years ago that I am working up to admitting. You must be one tuff cookie.

I think that most of us couldn't have admitted to ourselves what happened there. We would have rationalized, rationalized, rationalized.

It's crap.

You didn't do that!!

That is profound.

Denise Burks

Tony the Pink Panda said...

What's done is done. Time to move on. The more you think about it, the worse it gets - believe me.

Kat said...

Denise is right - you owned up to it, which is more than most of us would do!! And money is can credit the shoe fund back. It's not like you got the shoe money and immediately premeditated blowing it on junk food (which IS what a degenerate drug addict would probably do, just with drugs, of course). I know these comments might not make you feel any better, but you DON'T eat pizza and boneless wings every day, do you? And you ARE planning on buying and running in those shoes, right? And you HAVE kicked ass so far at this whole weight loss thing, yes? Cut yourself some's not as bad as it could be, and it's definitely not "rock bottom" bad. :)

Greta from said...

Tomorrow is a new day. (Today, actually). Make it a good one! It is okay to f-up from time to happens. It is the "bouncing back" that matters!!

KatDoesDiets said...

It really is our crack isn't it? Good for you being accountable and posting it though. It's all choices and tomorrow give the opportunities for new ones. Don't beat yourself up too much.

Rockin' Robin said...

good thing its a journey and not a race... have an awesome weekend.

266 said...

Sorry I’ve been away for the last couple of weeks! The busy holiday season made it next to impossible to find the time to do any blog reading, but I am catching up now! I am SO sorry that you didn’t get the job you were hoping for, but I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. Yes, I know it’s cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I am positive that something better will happen for you! Congrats on reaching 100 followers, by the way. It feels so great to know that others deem your journey worthy of watching, eh?

Now, as far as this last post goes… I suspect you are lurking on your own blog, thinking about the badness you may have done over the past day or two. STOP NOW!!! Get your behind back on this blog right now and report back to us, soldier! Pizza was ordered with running shoe money… we understand. Now move forward. It sucks, but it is not the end. Are you sitting there with a big bowl of buttery popcorn in front of you right now? Are there candy wrappers laying about? Type something! Anything! I KNOW that you can do this if you just reconnect! You have not lost! Get back at it, girl; we all believe in you. NOW!!!

GeminiJulia said...

I just stumbled across your blog & I saw this post. I think you are amazing for your progress and for posting this! It's the hard truth, but sometimes that's just what we need to face our addictions-drug, food or otherwise.


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