healthy and happy. one of these days.

03 April 2010

Random Thoughts (that I wish I had come up with...)

Hi! I'm still here! I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately. But things are good - I've been incommunicado whilst talking to that EHarmony gentleman I mentioned a few posts ago - it's sort of over, at least "romantically". I'll get that story to you soon.

In the meantime, my friend had this on her blog, and it's made the rounds on the intertubez, but it is so hilarious and you should read it if you haven't.

"Random Thoughts of 25-35 year olds:

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

- I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

- That's enough, Nickelback.

- I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

- Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

- How the in the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty.

- Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

- I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

- When I meet a new person, I'm terrified of mentioning something they haven’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

- Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dangit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?"

7 comments:

kaitlin said...

Ahahahahaha that was awesome. I have never read that, and I really feel like I could have written at least half of them! Hilarious!

notjustcelery said...

Haha totally did the sidewalk thing the other day! I went out a different door of the store I was in and got going the wrong way in Manhattan! Luckily in the grid (ie where street numbers and avenues are in numerical order...well except lex/park/madison) it's easy to find your way!

Tony The Pink Panda said...

"- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"."

I am so guilty of this.

lol.

Thunder Thigh Bride said...

Haha! This is awesome! My fiance and I were just talking about the nintendo cartridge thing the other day!
Just found your blog and I love it!

Kat said...

Oh my god, I totally do every one of these. I love this!

Kat said...

PS - Can you tell how I operate? I've been avoiding Google Reader (save for the easy reads like Perez) for a few days and have been stockpiling all the important blogs I know I need to comment on. I'm sorry/you're welcome for the comment diarrhea.

SlenderSwan2B said...

Whoa whoa whoa I do not turn on the shower till I am nekkid in the tub. Hubby runs the water first and it drives me insane!

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