healthy and happy. one of these days.

04 April 2010

My Easter Sunday and the latest EH shenanigans

Happy Easter everyone! (or Happy Regular Sunday, for those that don't celebrate Easter!)

My Easter has been great! I celebrated the end of Lent (Sweets 'N Jobs was a success!) by having a Deep Chocolate VitaTop with a tbsp of White Chocolate Wonderful PB&Co peanut butter on top. It was so good! Though The Bees Knees is still the best PB&Co flavor by far, in my opinion. It makes my heart sing.

I also had my Chocolate Peppermint Stick Luna Bar. SO. GOOD. I'm obsessed with mint and chocolate combinations and this did not disappoint. I especially liked the little red peppermint flecks in the iced part on the bottom. So festive and delicious. I can easily see myself keeping a kitchen stocked with Lemon Zest and Chocolate Peppermint Luna Bars. I'm in love.

Talked to my parents today too. They come home a week from today. I will spend this week mentally and emotionally preparing for their return.

AND I finally made spaghetti squash! It was so much easier than I thought. I'm about to make some ground turkey and mix it in with the squash and maybe throw in some marinara sauce. Should be delish!

Below is the story of that EHarmony Guy. Third time was not so much the charm in this case, but that's okay. My subscription ends on April 14th and I'll be content with that. For now!

Oh, before I get to the story, I have to tell you that I got myself to the track today! 3 miles with intervals of running and walking. I did 2 running laps, then alternated walking and running laps until I got to 3 miles, or 12 laps. Good times! And it was nice and sunny out so I think I got a little color, so my skin isn't quite the lovely shade of transparent that it was before.

So, here's the boring and fairly uneventful yet character building story of Sam:

We had been talking all week (gchat) and it was so fun and he made me laugh and I was really comfortable with him, and we clicked. We went out for a drink and dinner this past Wednesday. We had a good time, I think, but it ended with him awkwardly saying, “So, I guess…I’ll be, uh, chatting with you tomorrow!” or something like that. As he turned to walk to his car he had a look on his face that…I don’t know how to describe it, but I think I knew he wasn’t interested. It wasn’t so much a “thank god that’s over” look, but it was something like it.

I was sort of sad. I liked him enough that I wanted to hang out more. There were things about him that I didn’t like, too, but I was willing to overlook them because he made me laugh and was adorable when he smiled. Like he’s kind of a tough guy but then his face softens when he genuinely smiles, it was so cute.

Thursday, the next day, we didn’t talk at all. So I pretty much knew. I wanted him to talk to me first, though. And…he didn’t. So Friday morning I got impatient and reached out to him, we had an awkward small-talk conversation that was NOT at all like our usual stuff. So I went out to lunch, and left him with this message: “so…I'm going outside for lunch. Should be epic. Anyway, if you get bored anytime soon and want to hang out, give me a call, I'd be up for it. If you're not, no worries. I don't want to bug you if wednesday was it for you - I've been on the other side and it's…a weird dynamic. You can let me know either way, it’s cool I promise :-)”

I gave him the option of going out easy, giving me the obvious answer and not having to say it while I was there – but he waited until I got back. Which, is actually nice, I think? Anyway, he said he wasn’t interested in a relationship. He actually said relationship, which I thought was funny considering I only said “if you want to hang out again” but I suppose that’s where it ultimately would have gone anyway.

But he surprised me by saying that he really liked me, that I was fun and great and he would never say no to a new friend; he liked talking to me. And the thing is, with him, I believe it. He’s honest and upfront, which made the whole “I don’t like you like that” much easier, I think. He wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. So he says “These conversations can be really awkward but I’m glad we’re cool” and then we went on chatting for the rest of the day like normal, it was right back to the witty banter kind of stuff we had been doing all week. Which made me really happy.

So, I don’t really know if and how long this “friendship” thing will last, but I actually hope it does. He’s really fun and we have so much in common, I can see him as a guy friend whose honest opinion I can rely on if I needed advice, and that’s rare. So that's that. All in all I think for "not working out" it worked out pretty well.

Am I disappointed there’s no romance? Sort of – maybe 25% disappointed that it’s not with him, and 75% disappointed in that another dating situation didn’t work out. I think if that’s the kind of rejection I’m dealing with, then I’m doing pretty well.

It doesn’t take a lot for me to think that I’m not good enough, but I don’t really feel that way this time. No one said anything about physical characteristics, and I’m jumping to conclusions by thinking that’s what his “problem” with me is, but…even if it is, I’m okay with it. Especially if we stay friends and I get super hot and get to throw it in his face. Because I’m a rational woman that is in no way petty.


Drazil said...

He doesn't know what he's missing but I'm glad you are can be heartbreaking. Hang in there.

Loser Girl Jess said...

Yep...I get that. I feel like because of my weight (especially 60lbs ago) there was connection between me and guys that was filed immediately under the "friends" category. And that is still what I feel like now. Losing weight can be hard because this wall that we are used to having, that hurts us and protects us, has got to come down. I will have to stop blaming my lack of love life on my body....dagnabit!

Congrats on your journey so far, and many more happy lost pounds to you!

Kat said...

That Luna bar is dangerous. I could eat 5 in one sitting if allowed. And mint + chocolate is my of my diet shakes is mint chocolate, and I always mix my morning shake with coffee. Just ordered some SF peppermint syrup for my morning concoction, so my mind will be blown soon.

That's a really cool email you would've been pointless to beat around the bush, trying to "chat" but never really getting it out in the open. My best guy friend started out as a "we're flirty online, let's meet in person and see if we're a love match...oh shit, we don't like each other 'like that' so let's be drinking buddies" thing, and I can't imagine my life without him. I hope Sam and you stay friendly!

(this was a really selfish comment...I'm envious of you going out on a date and being sane about it - two things I can't even begin to hope for in the near future!)


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