“Morning! Just wanted to let you know I had a great time last night and would like to do it again. You?”
So I had my first date via EHarmony last night. I think he was actually the first person on EHarmony to reach out and contact me. Throughout this whole deal I want to keep an open mind (as much as possible) and so we had been emailing for a while and then “progressed” to texting, and then he asked me to dinner. I accepted.
(The post title: You move from email, to texting, to calling, to seeing each other in person...such a funny thing how that works)
Previous to meeting him, I didn’t really feel…anything. There wasn’t anything about him that engaged me – the way he looked, or anything in our discussions via text and email. I mean he doesn’t have to be Brad Pitt or be able to talk the pants off of me, but I need and want something to click. But again, I stayed connected because I 1) wanted to give it a chance for the sake of giving something a chance and 2) make sure I wasn’t turning down an opportunity because I was afraid or scared. You never know…
So we meet for dinner…the lack of feelings continued. He was nice. And I hate saying he was nice, because that seems so condescending to say. I could tell the things he was laughing at weren’t really the things I found funny (a matching sense of humor is pretty much THE biggest thing that can make or break someone for me) and so, I went along with it. We had conversations and talked about various things and asked each other questions and it was a polite first date.
I’m happy I did it. The problem, now, is obviously what to do next. You see the opening line – a text he just sent me – I don’t want to see him again. Not said (typed) in a malicious way, just…there’s nothing there for me. I guess I have to be a grown up and tell him that.
***TANGENT! You love them, you missed them, my tangents. Anyway (a tangent within a tangent, and parenthetical thoughts!? This post couldn’t get any better or more self-indulgent) my tangent is this: anyone who reads this section of the InterTubes knows that I have issues with myself. I don’t like a lot of things about me – I think I can be immature, bratty and spoiled and expect things to be given to me without a lot of work in return. It’s ugly and I don’t like it. And I know these are things I need to change***
Maybe my experience with EHarmony is about more than just finding a date. It’s about growing up a little, making the hard decisions, doing the thing that isn’t the easiest. If I do what my head is telling me, it’s to run away and ignore him and hope he gets the picture. But…I don’t want to do that this time. I’ll have to figure out something to say to him soon to tell him thanks but no thanks.
One other thing – I hope all of this isn’t coming off like I think I’m the first person to think these thoughts. I hate when I read things and I’m like “No Shit, Sherlock”, because it’s one of my favorite phrases of all time, but also because…it’s annoying when people thing they’re handing down gospel but really, at best they’re making an observation we all have a million times over.
I think that was kind of a run-on paragraph but I hope you catch my drift. I’m not the first and only person to go through this, but it’s a first for me.
(In other news: my eating was ON. POINT. yesterday. And I’ve been doing the Wii Fit more often. I’ve been stumbling a lot too – hello, Burger King, and may I say, ew – but I feel like things are headed in the right direction in a lot of ways too)
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4 comments:
Ya, you probably gotta be a grown up and nicely tell him no. But thank goodness this day and age you can do it by text, ;p Just stepping out of your comfort zone with eharmony is awesome though.
One thing I truly appreciate about you is your honesty. I know however you decide to tell him, you will tell him.
1) Friggin' proud of you for going on a date - I'd turn tail and run before even accepting the invite. 2) I'm sorry he was more cacophony than harmony, and it's awesome that you're trying to still grow even more. I'm the same way - I'd tend to ignore the problem and hope that it went away, but you're right, it's not a very grownuppy thing to do. Technology is weird these days, but Kat's right - thanks to technology, you can just text him to let him down!
Just came across your blog. This post was really inspiring to me...I, too, have done eHarmony before...but unlike you, I was always too scared to actually meet a guy in "real life." Good for you!
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