healthy and happy. one of these days.

08 February 2010

Weigh I Am

224! That's down from last week, HOLLER!

Other updates:

*May be making a real life, actual EHarmony date soon. Totally nervous. I'm still expecting to show up and be stood up. The whole "he looks in the window and sees me sitting there, and then bolts" scenario.  I really need some self esteem.

*No work today, and I still can't go anywhere because of the snow. I tried this morning - barely got down the road, and turned around and came back home. It's still really bad out there. Having a Corolla doesn' help. I love my baby and I don't want her out in this nonsense.

*It's a real challenge to keep myself from sitting inside and eating all day. Normally if I'm awake in the early hours, it's because I have work - but now I don't and I'm not my instinct is to eat. From boredom. Or to bake and THEN eat, also from boredom. Yikes. This is going to be a tough week for me. Oh, plus, being anxious about the potential EHarmony date also makes me want to eat. Ugh.

*I talked to The Matriarch (from The Family, if you remember) the other day during the snowstorm. It wasn't 4 minutes into the conversation when she asked me if I was still going to the gym. I told her I was, but not as often. And then she launched into talking about the Wii Fit and all that. It...irritated me to no end. I had a dream about this same kind of scenario the other day, but it was real life this time. I just wanted to say to her:

"The FIRST thing you bring up with me is always food and or exercising. Always. It's always about the weight - with me, with you, with somebody. Are you physically capable about talking about other things, at the very least to make me feel like you love me for reasons OTHER than how much I weigh?!" 

I know a large part of my annoyance was because I'm not happy with where I am in my "journey", and I don't want someone making me confront it. On the other hand, when she was here back in September, she did the same thing - asking me about my gym habits and what I was doing, and how I was "making her feel bad" for all the work I was doing...I still hated it, and I was doing really well. AGHHH!!! It just makes me so mad. It makes me want to not talk to her, and that makes me sad.

Eh...I didn't want to end on a sad/irritated note, because now I have myself all riled up again over it. I'm gonna go try and find something to do that doesn't involve me eating myself out of house and home.


karen@fitnessjourney said...

Have you tried telling her how you feel when she talks incessantly about weight? She may mean well and doesn't even realize it. It could be a positive thing to get it out in the open.

Kat said...

I agree with Karen - maybe it'll take a "breaking point" to get there, but sometimes all it takes is a direct request to shut the eff up, and they'll magically get it! I'm stoked for your maybe-date! And shut up, you're gorgeous, he won't bolt.

Kristina said...

Congrats on the loss and the EHarmony date (look forward to a new adventure...dont be anxious about could turn into something great) for the other. Your WEIGHT does NOT make you who you ARE. It took me years to figure that out. And if someone else can think of nothing else when they are around you....THEY have bigger problems than your weight! You are better than that and you have already proven that to yourself!

Greta from said...

Hang in there. Walk/run....instead of baking. I am finding that exercise is way better for boredom and/or stress than eating.

Remarkable snow pics. That was us last year...we've had hardly a thing this year. You rocked that shovel,! will go well or it will not. Who knows..he might be a scary troll and you can laugh about it after. Or, you will just not hit it off. Or, it will be super fun and result in another date. You'll never know till you know. I am eager to hear about it! :)

KatDoesDiets said...

I luv you for something other than your weight! Good luck with EHarmony boy, hope he's not a creep.

Foodie Girl said...

I am chalking up this day as a bad one for the books. Sometimes it makes me question if it's all worth it.

266 said...

So frustrating... I am happy to hear that you are down this week though. :)

Anonymous said...

Hi there!

I stumbled onto your blog through a series of clicks through I don't know how many weight loss blogs and I became so excited, especially seeing the VT t-shirt! (I'm also an alumni in the DC Metro Area). So proud of you doing the eHarmony thing..especially because I know how superficial people in this area are. By using a matched system, I'm sure you'll be successful! And congrats on all your weight loss.


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