12-21-12

not much else to say other than, i did get a little hungry and eat-eat-eat for dinner tonight. the calories are okay, though. the whole day adds up to 1810, give or take. i'm okay with a day like that, being on the higher end of what i prefer to have. nothing detrimental, and still no sugar :)

breakfast: i really need to get a new breakfast. gala apple and 1-2 tbsp of peanut butter (pb&co's mighty maple)

lunch: trader joe's harvest salad with grilled chicken (the two cubes of cheese come in the salad but i like to eat them separately, because..mmm, cheese.)

snack: fage yogurt, with cherry flavored...stuff.

dinner: trader joe's paneer tikka masala with garlic naan (also from trader joe's)

"dessert" aka "laura was still hungry": 9 shumai dumplings with crab

12-20 in total

thought i would change it up and just put everything in one post. so here we go!

breakfast: same as yesterday, gala apple and 1-2 tbsp of peanut butter (pb&co's mighty maple)

lunch: trader joe's (BIG SURPRISE) bistro salad - with kale, edamame, scallions, dried cranberries, toasted almond slivers, and a lemon herb dressing. and i added about 4-5 oz of chicken breast. b/c that's how i roll.

snack: coffee with half and half, if you even count that as a snack

snack #2: fage yogurt - this was good! i didn't use all of the jelly part, b/c i know that's where the sugar is!

dinner: i hope you don't think it's gross, but - two over easy eggs, 3-4 oz salmon, with sriracha on top. it's good! 

and finally, because, i have to mention trader joe's like seventeen million times a day, trader joe's sparkling water, lemon flavor! i lurrrrve it. this liter (litre?) is only 79 cents! say what! 

update on yesterday's public display of emotion: i made it through tonight's training session, though it was still difficult..but it's always going to be. and thank goodness, this week is almost over. if there's an equivalent of emotional crawling, that's what i'm doing through tomorrow at 5:30pm. and soon i can enjoy a little bit time off (but not much) for christmas next week and enjoy some general merriment with friends and family. 

12-19 wrap up, this time, with tears!

*glass of milk in my hokies cup
*two over-medium eggs with however much sriracha that is

(note on egg cooking: are they technically "fried" eggs if you cook them with just Pam? i feel like when i say fried egg, it means i doused it in oil, but...it's just Pam. i'm never sure how to describe it.)

and finally, your "wow, i'm glad i'm not her" moment of the day:

i had an appointment with my trainer tonight. he is always pushing and pushing and if i actually do something well, he just makes me do more. essentially his goal is to make me struggle. all. of. the. time. (realtalk: i appreciate this, and i like it. even though i also hate it, and spent most of the day in fear, like i do every appointment day) so tonight. tonight was...not great. i was whiny, tired, i stopped constantly, i think i only did one set/move without stopping. my trainer stopped the session early, took me into the office, and sat me down. he looked at me and said "what's wrong? tell me what's going on, because you're not like this"

and that's when i burst into tears.

work is incredibly overwhelming and stressful right now, and every day (especially now) i've been funneling almost all of my mental and emotional strength into just getting through each day and putting at least a semi-respectable dent into my to-do list, which is ever-growing. and so when the appointment rolls around, and my trainer is being hard on me, i am physically tired, yes, but i'm more emotionally/mentally tired and tonight i just didn't have anything left to keep myself going.

he told me "i'm hard on you because i believe in you". and i'm thankful that he's hard on me, because that's how i'll get stronger - that's how i'll achieve. i just didn't have the heart to deal with the struggle tonight. and so i cried. and then i went to shower and change, and i cried in the shower. it was actually fairly pathetic, but there you have it. i am really emotionally exhausted tonight.

the good news is that i'm not taking it out on my eating. the bad news is that i have to go back to the trainer tomorrow night, and i just don't have the slightest idea of how it's going to go.

12-19 lunch

coffee with half and haf, because i can't get enough.

trader joe's field fresh chopped salad (grilled chicken, israeli couscous, currants, asiago cheese, toasted pecans with sweet basil dressing) OM NOM NOM TIMES INFINITY

12-19 bkfst

gala apple, 1 piece of trader joe's 100% whole grain fiber bread, with 1-2tbsp* peanut butter & co PB, mighty maple flavor

and yeah, i took a bite of it before i took the picture. and yeah, i clearly buy a lot of things from trader joe's. they're just so good! especially their breads. i can identify all of the ingredients. i like that.

*i always have trouble judging how much a tbsp is. can't wrap my head around it. i should start going by coolio's measurements and refer to it as a dime bag**.

**are you wondering where i'm getting that from? oh, because THIS EXISTS.

12-18 wrap up

i also forgot to add earlier that i drank a cup of coffee with half and half. didn't take a picture. but i'm pretty sure you know what that looks like.

for (a lazy woman's) dinner:

salmon with lemon-dill sauce, a fage blueberry acai yogurt thaaang.

*yep, "thaaaaang". i know what you're thinking, and no, contrary to popular belief i don't work in fage's marketing department currently.

(also look at the expiration date on the yogurt! that's forever from now! i thought i read somewhere that basically the longer the shelf life, the more preservatives? well F*$K if i care, this yogurt is awesome. again, no i really don't work for fage's marketing department. i clearly should though.)