healthy and happy. one of these days.

29 November 2009

The Ugly Foo(d)th (okay, this one's a stretch, I'll admit!)

Today. Ugh. It’s now technically tomorrow. 3am and I am just getting home…yikes.

I’m going to be completely honest. Remember how I was okay with Wednesday’s number, and it’s just a day, and blah blah? Well, I have gotten on the scale every morning since Wednesday just to see what the deal was (just because I only report once a week doesn’t mean I’m not constantly curious!) and was consistent at 221.2. Even Friday morning after Thanksgiving. I look this morning…it was a fucking pound HIGHER than Friday. Are you kidding me?

I was okay with Wednesday's number. But not with that one.

I was pissed. So I decided to be a five year old and act out all day, by eating whatever I damn well pleased. It’s just – yesterday was not easy on me to keep myself in check and get to the gym…and this is what I get?

So I’m probably cutting off my nose to spite my face. But I got it out of my system and I’m ready to get back to eating healthfully and exercising tomorrow and I just hope it doesn’t take a big chunk out of the work I’ve done. And I’ll just be patient on those progress pictures.

For breakfast, I had a GIANT bowl of stuffing. Seriously enormous. I then went back over to my friend’s new condo to help paint and sand things, and I had a couple of Diet Cokes, and brought some chocolate-covered raisins over with me. One, to eat some, but two, to get most of them out of the house so that when my sanity returns they will be gone!

So there were chocolate raisins and Diet Coke.

THEN we ordered Chinese for lunch and I got chicken lo mein and pretty much dominated it. I didn’t eat the entire thing, but I ate a lot of it…it wasn’t great on my stomach and I won’t be missing it now that I’ve had it, that’s for sure.

More chocolate covered raisins and a Diet Coke later, I went over to a different friend’s place for dinner – I picked up Subway and had a 6-inch turkey on wheat with lettuce, light ranch, black olives and banana peppers, and I had the guy take some of the bread out. Oh and I had some pretzels with honey mustard and iced tea. So dinner wasn’t really that bad. I considered the ranch on the sandwich and the pretzels/honey mustard the indulgent part.

After dinner and quality time there, I went back to my friend’s new condo for MORE painting! And there were more chocolate-covered raisins and a Diet Coke I think.

And now I’m finished. I don’t feel completely awful but I don’t feel great either.

My main emotion right now is worry. I’m worried that I’m hitting a plateau and that would really be frustrating. Because these next twenty pounds are really important to me. The last time I was taking off these twenty pounds (220s to 200 or so) I really started having fun, and seeing the changes in my body, liking myself in pictures, and my confidence grew a lot.

I’ve really been looking forward to this part and…I just don’t want the hassle of a plateau. I really don’t.

I won’t stand for it! Maybe this day of bingeing will help (*HA* says my inner voice). It’s definitely pulling the ol’ switcheroo on my body – oh you like nutrients? Here have MSG instead! – so as I’m back on track tomorrow my body can realize how good it’s had it these past few months and behave itself!

(Meanwhile…it was just my scale freaking out and I ruined a perfectly good week for nothing because I irrationally flipped out over a number….I’ll choose to ignore this option because I’M ALWAYS RIGHT. Or something…)


Beth said...

I'm sorry, I just had to chuckle. Of course, it's because I've been there. I was once a pound from GOAL at WW and I didn't lose it that week and I QUIT and never went back! (Until the next time) Scary, isn't it?

I have also gotten mad and overeaten when the scale didn't reflect my hard work.

As I attempt to LEARN as much as I can during this journey, I really am beginning to believe that the occasional overeating might be a step to getting back into the healthy routine, IF it is limited and doesn't once again turn into a lifestyle. Of course, we'd rather it didn't happen but we might as well work with it rather than succumb and make it a lifestyle.

Although we certainly need to find a way to NOT do the anger overeating when the scale is stubborn!

Dree said...

I am right there with you- if I am feeling bad about a number on the scale, I feel down all day and eat anything that I want. It's so hard to give it your all and not see that reflected in the numbers.

Stay strong! You've come so far and this is just one day. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Foodie Girl said...

Your honesty is a breath of fresh air! Come by the blog, I have given you an award.

Rebecca said...

wow girly... step back from the scale... ;)

Learning to be Less said...

We've all been there. It could have been worse. Could have been regular coke. Could have been chocolate covered peanuts. Could have been a pizza for dinner.

Just get back to it. I say the same thing when I have an indulgent day - maybe it will help my loss. 1 out of 10 times it did. Maybe this is your time.

Greta from said...

You need a body fat percentage scale...then you KNOW if it is fat or not... You might have been losing fat but building muscle when the scale was at a stand still. Get a body fat scale!! It will give you more information and help you avoid more "F-it" days. :)


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