Today. Ugh. It’s now technically tomorrow. 3am and I am just getting home…yikes.
I’m going to be completely honest. Remember how I was okay with Wednesday’s number, and it’s just a day, and blah blah? Well, I have gotten on the scale every morning since Wednesday just to see what the deal was (just because I only report once a week doesn’t mean I’m not constantly curious!) and was consistent at 221.2. Even Friday morning after Thanksgiving. I look this morning…it was a fucking pound HIGHER than Friday. Are you kidding me?
I was okay with Wednesday's number. But not with that one.
I was pissed. So I decided to be a five year old and act out all day, by eating whatever I damn well pleased. It’s just – yesterday was not easy on me to keep myself in check and get to the gym…and this is what I get?
So I’m probably cutting off my nose to spite my face. But I got it out of my system and I’m ready to get back to eating healthfully and exercising tomorrow and I just hope it doesn’t take a big chunk out of the work I’ve done. And I’ll just be patient on those progress pictures.
For breakfast, I had a GIANT bowl of stuffing. Seriously enormous. I then went back over to my friend’s new condo to help paint and sand things, and I had a couple of Diet Cokes, and brought some chocolate-covered raisins over with me. One, to eat some, but two, to get most of them out of the house so that when my sanity returns they will be gone!
So there were chocolate raisins and Diet Coke.
THEN we ordered Chinese for lunch and I got chicken lo mein and pretty much dominated it. I didn’t eat the entire thing, but I ate a lot of it…it wasn’t great on my stomach and I won’t be missing it now that I’ve had it, that’s for sure.
More chocolate covered raisins and a Diet Coke later, I went over to a different friend’s place for dinner – I picked up Subway and had a 6-inch turkey on wheat with lettuce, light ranch, black olives and banana peppers, and I had the guy take some of the bread out. Oh and I had some pretzels with honey mustard and iced tea. So dinner wasn’t really that bad. I considered the ranch on the sandwich and the pretzels/honey mustard the indulgent part.
After dinner and quality time there, I went back to my friend’s new condo for MORE painting! And there were more chocolate-covered raisins and a Diet Coke I think.
And now I’m finished. I don’t feel completely awful but I don’t feel great either.
My main emotion right now is worry. I’m worried that I’m hitting a plateau and that would really be frustrating. Because these next twenty pounds are really important to me. The last time I was taking off these twenty pounds (220s to 200 or so) I really started having fun, and seeing the changes in my body, liking myself in pictures, and my confidence grew a lot.
I’ve really been looking forward to this part and…I just don’t want the hassle of a plateau. I really don’t.
I won’t stand for it! Maybe this day of bingeing will help (*HA* says my inner voice). It’s definitely pulling the ol’ switcheroo on my body – oh you like nutrients? Here have MSG instead! – so as I’m back on track tomorrow my body can realize how good it’s had it these past few months and behave itself!
(Meanwhile…it was just my scale freaking out and I ruined a perfectly good week for nothing because I irrationally flipped out over a number….I’ll choose to ignore this option because I’M ALWAYS RIGHT. Or something…)