I did this a lot the last time around, and I want to do it again now. Every so often I would write out all of the things that are great about weighing less, from the mega-meta to the very silly. It’s not an exhaustive list, but it’s a pretty good representation.
Fashion: I consider myself moderately interested in fashion, but still a simple girl who spends too much money at Target. I just can’t wait to:
*Fit into the smaller sizes I have (I’m a 24 and I have every size down to a 12);
*Buy pants at “regular size” stores;
*Wear more heels;
*Wear strapless dresses (right now that would involve a complicated system of pulleys and levers)
I just want to have that effortlessly comfortable style I’ve built up in my head. I suppose this is where you tell me I should be doing all of these things now, anyway. I suppose you’re right, but now doesn’t quite match my mentally styled self, and that’s what I’m really aiming for, dreaming about, working towards.
Feelings, Emotions (EYE ROLL): Confidence. Happiness. Okay, just those two. I’m not getting dramatic today.
Social Things: These are the things I am most excited about.
*Not worrying about how much room I’m taking up on public transportation;
*Amusement park accessibility;
*Dating, OH MY GOD DATING;
*Liking the pictures I see of myself on fb (of course they aren’t all of apples, I’m a real person! With a body! And a face!);
*The little “reveals” when I see friends I haven’t seen in a while
I guess it all adds up to being the person I want to be. I honestly want to get to the point where I’m just…okay with myself. I want to be comfortable, so that I don’t have to breed negativity, and I can really focus positive energy on other people. That’s what really makes me happy, and I don’t think I’m doing the best possible job of it now when I’m so often blocked by my own negativity. But I guess that’s part of the reason why I’m here, to either write it out and get rid of it, and/or address it and move on, you get the idea. Wait, I think I said I wasn’t getting dramatic today. CRAP!