Dinner (aka internal battle royale)

My dinner wasn’t too bad. It was definitely a battle to keep myself from going overboard, though. I suddenly wanted comfort and safety, and for me, that usually means lots of food and none of it good for me. But, I said to myself that I wanted to be honest and really try and stick to things, so I compromised.

I make this chicken salad with craisins, and I usually have it as a sandwich with apple slices and lettuce (all on the sandwich), along with a mountain (literally, a mountain) of chips. That’s what I wanted. But it’s not what I ate.

I chopped up half a granny smith apple and mixed it with the chicken, low-fat mayo (I made sure to use just enough to barely coat the chicken) and craisins, and ate it as is, without the bread and chips. My parents had made a separate dinner for themselves earlier, so before I sat down for the chicken salad, I ate half of a salmon patty (the whole thing was about the size of my palm), about 1/3 cup of roast potatoes, and maybe the same amount of this weird fennel/cabbage/onion slaw. I’m not really sure about the nutritional value of any of them, but I was still happy that I just picked at them a little – instead of getting a plate and loading it up anyway and finding ways to excuse myself from being at fault.

I feel full, I think. Happy, more than anything, that I managed to keep from sabotaging myself. At least one more day. Or twelve more hours, or something.